Self-Hate: Can Someone Sabotage Their Life If They Are Carrying Self-Hate?

If someone was to take a step back and reflect on their life, what they may see is that it is often a case of one step forward, two steps back. In other words, it will be difficult for them to make much progress.

This could be the case when it comes to all areas of their life, or this might only apply to a few areas of it. But, even if it only applies to a few areas, these could be key areas of their life.

For Example

So, they might not have been able to get very far when it comes to their career, assuming that they have one. Along with this, they might not have been able to make much headway when it comes to being in an intimate relationship.

When it comes to the former, it could be as though they are going around in circles and the next step is always out of their reach. As for the latter, they might have been with at least one person and then, for no apparent reason, it came to an end.

Inner State

If they were to think about how they feel, they could find that they often feel low and bad about themselves. They are then not going to spend a lot of time feeling good about themselves.

This can mean that they will have moments when they question if they are worthy of having a successful career and being in an intimate relationship. Still, they can do their best to keep their head up and keep going.

It’s Clear

If someone in their life was to hear about what is going on inside them and how they question their worthiness when it comes to having what they desire, they could wonder what is going on. As far as they are concerned, they could believe that they deserve to have what they desire.

Also, if one was to think about how they live their life, so how they treat others and how hard they work, for instance, they could see that there is no doubt that they are worthy of having what they desire. Based on this, what is taking place inside them can be seen as being totally irrational.

Self-Exploration

Now, as irrational as may seem for them to feel as they do, if they were to go deep inside themselves, it might start to make sense. What they may find, by doing this, is that they hate themselves.

As a result of this, it is not going to be a surprise that they have trouble feeling worthy and deserving of having what they desire. Due to the hate that they have for themselves, they will feel as though they have committed an unforgivable crime and deserve to be punished for eternity.

Self-Deprivation

And, not allowing themselves to move forward will be one of the ways that this takes place. For so long, it may have seemed as if what was going on out there was the problem, with people, circumstances and events holding them back.

In reality, they will have unknowingly been sabotaging their own life. Upon seeing this, they might struggle to understand why they hate themselves and once again, this can be seen as being irrational.

Back In Time

If they are not aware of why this is, it is likely to show that their brain has blocked out what took place in order to protect them. Therefore, the information that would shed light on what is going on will be outside of their conscious awareness.

There is the chance that their early years were anything but nurturing, with this being a time when they were abused and neglected. They may have been both verbally and physically abused, for instance.

Defenceless

Not only wouldn’t they have been able to protect themselves from what was going on but what took place would have been personalised. The hate that was being directed towards them would have been internalised and ended up permeating their whole being.

They would have felt worthless, bad and unlovable and this would have formed their view of themselves. To allow them to keep it together and function, their brain would have automatically repressed how they felt.

Covered Up

Many, many years would then have passed and their conscious mind would have forgotten all about what happened and how they felt, but the view of themselves that was created during this time will still be defining their life and some of the feelings that they felt will seep through at times. Furthermore, all the pain that was repressed will be held in their brain and body.

With this in mind, for them to change their life and allow good in, they will probably need to face and work through this pain. There are likely to be layers and layers of pain inside them, which is why this is a process that will take courage and patience and prescience.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk