Self-Knowledge: Why Do Some People Believe That Their Childhood Did Not Have An Effect On Them?

When it comes to the kinds of challenges that one can face during their adult years, it can be normal for them to believe that their childhood hasn’t played a part. What they are going through is then going to be seen as a reflection of what has taken place in their adult years.

If they don’t have this outlook, it could be put down to something else, or it could be seen as being the result of a number of different factors. But regardless of whether it is seen as another factor or number of different factors, they are unlikely to be the only ones with this outlook.

A Common Outlook

One reason why this is the case is because there is generally a greater focus on the external world; this then sets people up to look outside for answers. But if the focus is moved to what is taking place within, it doesn’t mean that it will relate to what is taking place at a deeper level.

Instead, it could be a time when it is about genetics, or what is happening in the brain, for instance. Therefore, even though this is a different approach, it is still going to be something that is out of someone’s control.

A Victim

If one was to believe that their genetics are the reason why they are experiencing life in a certain way, it could give them a sense of relief. For one thing, this will be something that allows them to put their mind at rest, so to speak.

However, while they can come to the conclusion that they understand why their life is the way it is, it doesn’t mean that there won’t be moments when they feel completely powerless. It might be possible for them to bring themselves out of this state form time to time by bringing their attention to why they feel this way.

A Burden

Even so, one is going to feel as though their life being held back by something they have no control over and this can make them feel hopeless. They are not being held back by themselves; they are being held back by what was passed onto them.

And even if they believe that their life is also being affected by a chemical imbalance, they are still not going to be much better off. The difference is that when it relates to an imbalance, there is a strong chance that they will be able to change this.

Mixed Results

One could end up taking something and this could cause them to feel better, or they could end up disconnecting from how they feel. There is then the chance that they will end up experiencing even more problems by taking something.

This then empathises how limiting it is for one to believe that their life is being defined by something they have more or less no control over. But when so many people identify with this outlook, it can be a challenge for one to change their perception.

External World

Having said that, one might not focus on these things and they could say that it simply is due to what is taking place around them. For example, one could be surrounded by people who are self-centred, and they could be seen as the problem.

Or one could have a career that is not very fulfilling and it could be seen as the reason why they are not very happy in life. There is also the chance that one can relate to both of these examples, as well as many others.

A Pattern

But while one could focus on a few people and/or on where they work, they could also take a step back. Through doing this, they might begin to see that they have been in this position before.

This could then mean that they will continue to believe that what is taking place around them is the problem, or they could start to wonder if there is more to it. One thing they could then do is to reach out for external support.

On The Surface

During this time, one could look for advice on how to change their life, and this could cause them to focus on their behaviour. If they were to work with someone, they could end up having counselling or some kind of behavioural therapy, for instance.

There will then be no need for them to look into their childhood, and they will be able to focus on the here and now. After a while they could find that their life begins to change and it might no longer be necessary for them to receive the same support.

Stuck

However, even if their life doesn’t change, it doesn’t that they will take a deeper look. It then won’t matter if their childhood has had an effect on how they are experiencing life, as they won’t take the time to find out.

But as they are an adult and their childhood is in the past, it could be said that this is to be expected. What could also play a part here is if their early years were abusive, and as a way to deal with what happened, their mind has blocked the past out.

Idealisation

One can then say that their childhood was fine, or that it wasn’t that bad, for instance. This defence mechanism then allows them to avoid pain, but at the same time, it causes them to recreate the past.

The challenge is that as they have disconnected from what took place, they are unable to see how their present reflects their past. Along with this, if one has experienced life in the same way for a long time and it has become normal, then this can also make it harder for them to see how their early years may have played a part in how they currently experience life.

Awareness

What this shows is how important it is for one to have an open mind, and through being this way, it will make it easier for them to change their life. The main thing is that one is curious and that they are not prepared to give up.
​
If one can see that their early years have had an effect on how they are currently experience life, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist. 

---

If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.

Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk