Self-Love: Can Someone’s Inner Critic Make It Hard For Them To Feel Good About Themselves?

When someone is able to talk to themselves in a positive manner, it is going to be a lot easier for them to feel good. This is similar to how one is likely to feel better if they are in the company of someone who treats them well.

Through being around this person, they can feel good in their company and, once their time together has come to an end, they can continue to feel good. In the same way, one can feel good when they talk to themselves in a positive manner and they can feel good even after this has stopped, thanks to the positive feelings that will have been triggered.

Numerous Benefits

Another consequence of this is that they are going to be more likely to take action and to go after their dreams. The voice within them will provide them with the support that they need and it will enable them to believe in themselves.

And, even if something doesn’t go to plan or they make a mistake, there will be no reason for them to abuse themselves. In the same way that a loving parent will be supportive when their child makes a mistake; this part of them will also be there to give them the love that they need to get back on their feet.

Inner Harmony

Along with this, if they were to end up on the receiving end of verbal abuse or to spend time around someone who is abusive, there would be no need for them to tolerate it. Ultimately, what is taking place externally won’t match up with what is taking place within them, which will most likely cause them to push back.

They could end up making it clear that what has been said is not acceptable or they might even up walking away and cutting their ties with this person. Due to the fact that they value themselves, their wellbeing will be more important than pleasing others.

The Norm

There is the chance that one has spoken to themselves in this way for as long as they can remember, signifying that it is just how their life is. Consequently, it might not even occur to them that their life could be different or that there are people out there who experience life differently.

They are going to be their own best friend as opposed to their own worst enemy, and this is going to serve them well. They are likely to have a number of fulfilling relationships, they might also have a rewarding career, and they will likely allow themselves to rest when they need to.

A Different Reality

There are going to be plenty of people in the world that experience life in this way and there are also going to be plenty people that don’t. In fact, there are probably far more people that fall into the second category.  

In this case, someone is rarely going to talk to themselves in a positive manner. Instead, their inner voice is going to be there to tear them down or to make them feel even worse when they are already down.

 A Destructive Influence

Therefore, this part of them is not going to work with them, to give them the support that they need; it will be there to make their life a misery. This is going to make it hard for them to take action and to go after their dreams.

But, if they are able to use their willpower to push through all the negativity that is within their own head, it will be hard for them to appreciate what they do achieve. This part of them can tell them that they are worthless, no matter what they achieve.

A Match

So, if they come into contact with someone who is rude to them or if they end up in a relationship with someone who is abusive, there will be no reason for them to push back. What someone like this comes out with will have a lot in common how one talks to themselves.

If someone was to treat them with respect, they might wonder what is going on; being treated in this way is not going to feel right. Even so, to the outside observer who is not aware of what is taking place within them, it can seem as though one is simply a victim.

Weighed Down

In general, they could find that they feel down and even depressed, and they might even experience a lot of anxiety. The unease that they experience could be down to them fearing that they will be rejected and even abandoned, if other people were to find out how worthless they are.

It will be as though they will be found out, and this is naturally going to cause them to experience a lot of unnecessary pressure. Yet, while their inner critic is going to be having a destructive effect on their life, one might not even realise that their life doesn’t have to be this way.

A Parasite

After having experienced life in this way for so long, it could be as if this inner critic is just part of who they are. Thus, in same way that an arm or a leg is part of them, their inner critic will be part of their inner world.

One is then going to be completely indentified with this part of them, meaning that it won’t be possible for them to step back and to see that it is basically an intruder. This part of them is not going to be their conscience either, even though it may appear to be.

Awareness

What took place at the beginning of their life is likely to have been what caused them to develop this inner critic. Perhaps their caregiver/s had the tendency to treat them like dirt, and as though they had no value.

Their voice/s would then have ended up being internalised, causing them to talk to themselves in the same way. If someone can relate to this, and they want to get rid of this inner critic, they may need to reach out for the support of a therapist or a healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk