When a person gets to a certain age, there is a strong likelihood that they will attend some kind of school. During this time, they will begin to learn about different areas of life and the kind of subjects that will allow them to function in today’s world.
While their time in education may give them what they need to make it in the world, there is also the chance that this won’t happen. This is because their life is also going to be influenced by self-image.
Therefore, if a person doesn’t value themselves, it might not matter what kind of education they receive; unless they realise that succeeding in life is not just about what they know and is also about what is taking place within them, it could set them up to suffer unnecessarily.
In the Beginning
How someone is treated during their younger years can have an enormous impact on how they see themselves as an adult. Although time passes, they can end up maintaining the same view of themselves, irrespective of later experience.
What this shows is how powerful these early experiences are on the psyche, and if someone was able to develop an empowering idea of themselves, they won’t have the need to implement radical change to feel happy. Yet, if their early experiences (along with negative experiences that follow) have set them up to be their own worst enemy, they will have a greater need to experience change.
However, unless someone has been able to detach from what is taking place within them, they might not realise that the image they have of themselves is not who they are. How they see themselves is then not something that can be changed it is as much a part of them as their body is.
Fortunately, it is possible for someone to change their self-image. No one needs to be defined by what happened during their childhood years, or what has happened to them since.
When someone loves themselves they can be their own best friend, and this will allow them to have a more fulfilling life. They will have ups and downs like everyone else, but when they do fall, they will allow themselves the support they need to rise once again. Importantly, they will recognise that they deserve it.
They are in touch with their true self, as opposed to experiencing life from their false self. When someone is identified with their false self, it can cause them to come across as though they don’t love themselves, but there is also the chance they will come across as though they love themselves too much. Both states have a negative impact on social relationships.
People can come across in this way because they have tried to cover up how they feel about themselves. Their negativity has pushed them to create an inflated sense of self.
On one side, this has allowed them to feel better than before, but on the other, it has caused them to act as though they are superior to others. It is human nature to try to avoid pain, and so if someone feels bad on the inside, they can end up trying to cover up how they feel on the outside.
However, if someone doesn’t love themselves they need to face how they feel. Once they have, they will need to learn to let that negativity go on the one hand, and to receive support on the other hand.
What they need to let go and what they need to receive can all depend on what is taking place within them. It could be that they only need to alter their thoughts and beliefs, and as this takes place they may find that they start to feel better about themselves.
Empowerment and positivity can occur through using different affirmations, and although a person’s inner world won’t change overnight, it may begin to improve if they stick to this process. There are many affirmations out there, and each individual must find the ones that work for them.
The great thing about affirmations is that if someone is unable find any that fit their needs, they can make up their own. After someone has used an affirmation for while, they may find that they no longer need it, and they can find or create another one to replace it with.
If someone finds that it is not possible for them to accept new messages, this could be a sign that they have emotional work to do, though they may not recognise it themselves. Emotions are often overlooked, and this is because they are often seen as being the result of what is taking place in someone’s mind.
However, while our thoughts can define how we feel, they can also trigger emotions that are trapped inside our body. If someone has a lot of negative thoughts and feelings, they may need to bring their attention inwards to their body and put their mind to one side.
For example, when someone experiences a loss (either the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or childhood needs that were not met, for instance) it is important for them to mourn. Yet, this doesn’t always take place, and this can cause their emotions to stay trapped in their body.
As a result of this, not only will they feel different emotionally, they will also find that their mind is affected by this build-up. All the time their body is loaded up with these emotions from the past; it will make it harder for them to receive support and live in the moment.
Another thing people may need in order to love themselves is affirmation by others. This not the same as using affirmations, as it is not just going to relate to what others say.
Through being around people who are able to accept them as they are, it will allow a person to gradually accept themselves. A friend or family member may be able to provide this, but if not it can occur through working with a therapist.
Leaning to love oneself is a process, and while it will take time, it is one of the most important things that someone can ever do for themselves. The hard work will pay off in time and as their inner world begins to change, the people they attract into their life will reflect this positive inner change.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.