Self-Ownership: Can Child Abuse Stop Someone From Developing A Felt Sense Of Self Ownership?

Now, even though it could be said that someone owns their body and mind and that no one has a right to control them or make them do something that they don’t want to do, it doesn’t mean that this is something that they actually realise.

Thanks to this, they could often be controlled by others and do things that they don’t truly want to do. If so, in a number of their relationships, they could be treated like an object.

Conflict

Being treated in this way could cause them to experience a fair amount of frustration, if not anger. But, while this will have a negative effect on them, it might not occur to them that there is another way for them to experience life.

If this is the case, they will just have to do their best to tolerate what is going on and they might hope that their life will change at some point. What is clear, is that living in this way is going to make It hard for them to appreciate being on this earth.

Disconnected

It is highly likely that they won’t have a strong connection with their body and will spend most of their life in their head. Being this way is likely to be what feels comfortable and be what is normal.

Thus, they might not be aware of the fact that they don’t have a strong connection with all of their being. If they were to reconnect to their body, they might soon feel deeply uncomfortable and exposed.

A Safe Place

Being in their head, on the other hand, will stop them from feeling this way and make it easier for them to handle life. The trouble is that not being connected to their body will make it harder for them to know when they are being taken advantage of or violated.

The reason for this is that if they were in their body, they would be provided with feedback that would tell them when something is not right. This would take place through them having certain sensations and feelings.

A Different Experience

Still, when they are in their head they could experience a sense of control and freedom and it could be as though they are above what is going on around them. What they can’t experience in their body, then, a sense of safety, security and control, will be experienced in their head.

Therefore, they won’t need to retreat to a cave or the top of a mountain as they will have an inner retreat. If they were to realise that they have a weak connection with their body, it could be because they end up having an experience where they temporarily inhabit their body.

Stepping Back

It is at this point that they could wonder why they are this way and why they allow other people to mistreat them. They might wonder if there is something inherently wrong with them and if they are strange.

However, if they have been this way for as long as they can remember, there is a strong chance that it is largely due to what took place during their formative years. This may have been a time in their life when they were treated like an object and were routinely violated by one or both of their parents and perhaps others.

Totally Helpless

As they were powerless and totally dependent at this stage of their life, there was absolutely nothing that they could do about what was going on. The only thing that they could do was to leave their body and retract to the safety of their mind.

Along with this, they might have been able to escape from what was going on and isolate themselves. Ultimately, they were defenceless and their parent or parents were likely to have been deeply wounded themselves and thereby, were not aware of how harmful their behaviour was.

The Outcome

Being treated in this way would have caused them to experience a lot of pain and caused a number of their developmental needs to be unmet. Leaving their body would have allowed them to avoid the pain they were in and allowed them to keep it together and function but it would have severed their connection with their true self.

When it comes to their developmental needs that were not met, this will include their need to be loved and valued and to feel safe, secure, protected and seen. As a result of the experiences that they had, they will believe that other people own them and have the right to do whatever they want to them.

A New Beginning

The truth is that they have the right to be here and to protect themselves and they own their body and mind. Nevertheless, for them to know this at the core of their being, they are likely to have a lot of pain to face and unmet development needs to experience.

This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk