Self-Ownership: Can Child Abuse Stop Someone From Developing A Sense Of Sovereignty?

In the same way that someone would say that they own their phone or their shoes, for instance, they could also say the same thing about themselves. When it comes to who they are, this will be their mind and body.
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By owing themselves, no one else will have the right to use their mind or body. This is something that they will strongly believe and, as a result of this, if another tried to do this, they would stand their ground and defend themselves if it were necessary.

An Essential Component

This is likely to show that they feel safe and secure in their own body. There will then be no reason for them to live on edge and worry about another person taking advantage of them and making them do something that they don’t want to do.

This also shows that they have a clear sense of where they begin and end and where other people begin and end. Thanks to their own sense of anatomy, there will be no need for them to try to own another either.

The Ideal

Now, it could be said that this is how someone should be. This is not only the best way for someone to live a fulfilling life but it is also the best way for them to allow another to live a fulfilling life.

If other people were constantly trying to walk over them and use them and they were unable to protect themselves, they wouldn’t be in a good way. And, if they were to do this to others, they would be violating other human beings.   

A Different Reality

However, while this is ideal, there are going to be plenty of people who are unable to relate to this experience. For someone like this, they might say that they own their phone or their shoes, for instance, but it will be a very different story when it comes to themselves.

They could feel as though they are other people’s possession and that, at any moment, another person could do whatever they want to them. This will be a time when they will simply have to tolerate what happens.

Out of Their Awareness

Then again, this might not be something that they consciously think about; it could be just outside of their conscious awareness. Yet, even if they are not aware of the fact that they don’t feel as though they own themselves, they are still going to suffer.

In general, they are likely to find it hard to feel safe and secure and, thus, have the inclination to feel anxious and fearful. When they are around others, they could typically be easy-going and even submissive.

A Natural Outcome

Being this way is unlikely to have protected them, though, as there could have been a number of moments in their life when they have been walked over. There is the chance that it has been even worse than this, with there being moments when they have been abused.

Each time they were mistreated, they may have simply tolerated what happened and not stood up for themselves. But, if deep down they see themselves as other people’s possession, a possession that other people can do whatever they want with, this is not going to be much of a surprise.

Something Is Not Right

At this point, it could be said that it is strange that someone would see themselves in this way. Not only this, it also shows that they don’t really value themselves, as, if they did, they wouldn’t put up with this.

Along with this, there is the fact that they don’t feel safe enough to stand up for themselves. Taking both of these things into account, they are not going to believe that they are worthy of being treated with respect or that they have the right to exist, among other things.

A Closer Look

What this is likely to show is that their early years were anything but nurturing, with this being a time when they were regularly violated. One of both of their caregivers may have treated them like their possession and a possession that had no value.

They would then have been in a boundaryless state when they were born and, as they were not treated like an individual who had their own needs, feelings, wants and preferences, they wouldn’t have developed a sense of autonomy or learned to own themselves. This would have stopped them from realising that they had rights, such as the right to exist, the right to say no, the right to protect themselves, the right to be loved, and the right to be safe and secure.

A Brutal Time

So, a stage of their life that should have prepared them for the real world would have set them up to suffer. At this stage of their life, they would have been an object for their caregiver/s to use and abuse (this might still be the case if their caregiver/s is alive) and now they will be an object for others to use and abuse.

They simply won’t have received the love, care and attunement that they needed to be able to develop in the right way and to stay connected to their fight instinct. To use an analogy: they will be like a tiger that has been sedated and is underfed, so even if they were to come to their senses, they wouldn’t have the strength to do anything about what is going on.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk