What is clear is that in order for someone to feel comfortable in their own skin, and to even experience inner peace, it will be important for them to accept themselves. If they are able to do this, their life is likely to be a lot easier than it would be otherwise.
But, although someone can have the desire to accept themselves, they can find that it is not possible for them to do so. Instead, what can feel more comfortable is treating themselves badly.
Conversely, one might not even have a strong desire to accept themselves, which could mean that there is less resistance to what is taking place. This is not to say that they will have fully accepted what is taking place, though; what it means is that they won’t necessarily be looking for a way to change their life.
Either way, both of these people are likely to find that they spend a lot of time feeling bad about themselves, and they may even spend a fair amount of time around people who treat them badly. One might see that how these people treat them is simply a reflection of how they treat themselves, or they might not see this connection.
If they haven’t come to this conclusion, one could end up seeing themselves as a victim. Some of the people in their life are then going to be hell bent on making their life a misery and one will have just happened to come into contact with them.
One might even believe that they would feel better about themselves if these people left their life. However, if this was to take place, they are likely to find that they end up coming into contact with their own inner critic.
Regardless of whether they are around people who are abusive or if they are in their own company, this part of them is likely to be relentless. This voice could talk about the mistakes that they have made that day and going into what they have done wrong in the past.
In addition to this, it can talk about the parts of themselves that are not seen as acceptable; the supposedly flawed parts of their nature. It could tell them that they are not attractive enough, slim enough and/or smart enough, for instance.
Through having put up with this inner voice for so long, it can seem as though it is a part of who they are. In reality, this is going to be nothing more than a parasite, something that is stealing their energy and shouldn’t be there.
This can show that one is attached to the feeling of being worthless, with this causing them to put up with the abuse from their inner critic. What it comes out with is then going to match up with how they see themselves.
As a result of how they feel deep down and what their inner critic spews out, it is going to be hard for them to accept positive feedback from others. Part of them will want to be treated well and to be accepted by others, but an even bigger part of them won’t feel comfortable with this.
So, even if someone does treat them well, they are not going to be able to fully embrace what is taking place. This experience is then soon going to pass, being replaced with the familiar experience of feeling unlovable and flawed.
Looking For It
Unconsciously, one is going to be looking for situations, circumstances and events that will validate how they feel about themselves. It is then not by accident that one will have experience after experience where they will feel rejected by others - it is by design.
The trouble is that if one is not aware of what is taking place at a deeper level and is only aware of what is taking place up top, it will seem as though this is happening randomly. Consciously, they will be resisting what is taking place, creating the impression that they are not attached to experiencing life in this way.
A Different Experience
Once they are no longer sees themselves as someone who is flawed and their inner citric has started to settle down, they will be able to accept themselves. Consequently, they won’t be preoccupied with whether or not other people will accept them, and they will be able to accept love and kindness from others.
This is not something that is going to take place overnight, but it can take place with patience and persistence. The main thing is that one is aware of what is going on and is ready to take the next strep.
It may be necessary for one to each out for external support, and this can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. What matters is that one does something and doesn’t allow themselves to suffer unnecessarily.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.