Self-Sabotage: Can Someone’s Fear Of Overshadowing Their Parents Cause Them To Sabotage Their Life?

Even though someone can have the desire to move forward in their life, it doesn’t mean that they have been able to get very far. Now, this could be because they simply haven’t taken action.

Thus, their desire to change their life will be there, but they won’t have taken the time to do anything else. This could illustrate that one doesn’t feel comfortable taking the next step.

Another Element

Along with this, they might not believe that they deserve to live the life that they want to lead. What is taking place internally as opposed to what is taking place externally is going to be what is holding them back.

For their life to change, then, they will need to do something about what is taking place internally. If they don’t do anything, they will continue to lead a very frustrating existence.

Another Reality

At the same time, one could have the desire to move forward and they could be doing all the right things. They could have a clear idea about what they want to achieve and they could take action on a regular basis.

But, although this is the case, their life is not going to be how they want it to be. And, if they were to check in with themselves, they may find that they do feel that they deserve to experience life differently.

Held Back

So, as they have all the boxes ticked, it can be hard for them to understand why their life is the way that it is. They might even wonder if someone or something out there is holding them back.

Or, it could be as if this point in time just isn’t their time and that they need to wait for the right moment. Regardless of what they come to conclude, they are unlikely to feel strong and empowered.

A Cross Road

At this point, they could disregard what is going on and work even harder to change their life. This will be similar to putting a lot of petrol onto a fire in order to burn something that simply won’t burn. 

As what they have been doing up until this point hasn’t worked, it is probably unlikely that working even harder will allow them to achieve their desired outcome. This could just lead to more frustration and a bigger fall when they end up getting to this point again. 

A Deeper Look

Alternatively, they could just stop what they are doing and take a step back. By doing this, they will have the chance to reflect on why their life is the way that it is and to see if they need to try a completely different approach.

This could be a time when they imagine how they would feel if their life was no longer the same and they had moved forward. At first, they could be filled with energy, but after a little while, this could change.

Diving In

If they were to go into how they feel and to sit with their feelings, they may find that this causes them to feel cut-off from their parents. Along with this, they could feel guilty and as though they have betrayed them.

What this will show is that although changing their life is seen as something positive on one level, it is seen as something negative on another level. Said another way, their conscious mind will want one thing and their unconscious mind will want something else.

A Big Loss

At a deeper level, moving forward is going to be seen as something that would cause them to displease their parents and to lose their love. Their parents might not be successful or they might have only achieved a certain level of success.

There is also the chance that one or both of their parents are not even alive, yet this won’t matter. To a big part of them, staying at a certain level will allow them to say connected to these people.

The Truth

It could be said that if their parents actually love them (or loved them), they would want them to do as well as they could on this planet. Seeing their child do well would be something that would make them proud.

If this is not the case, it could show that they are in competition with their child. Their parents are then likely to be mentally and emotionally undeveloped, which will prevent them from truly being able to be there for their child.

Awareness

If one believes that moving forward will cause them to lose their parents love and to betray them, it will be essential for them to bring these beliefs out into the light and to question them. They could even talk about this to their parents, that's if they are still alive and have a good relationship with them.
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If this is not possible, for whatever reason, they can reach out for external support and work on these beliefs with a therapist or a healer, for instance. There can also be emotional wounds that they need to heal.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk