There are a number of things that play a part in someone being able to live a life that is worth living, and having a sense of self worth is one of them. When one has this in place, it will be possible for them to feel good about themselves.
Through having the ability to feel good about themselves, it will probably be normal for them to experience positive feelings and thoughts. Along with this, one is likely to have a low tolerance for bad behaviour.
One is going to like and value themselves, which will stop them from putting up with anyone who tries to undermine them. Being around this type of behaviour will feel uncomfortable, and this will give them the need to do something about it.
There is then going to be what they do to look after themselves and to take care of their own needs. Self-care is going to be important to them; whereas neglecting themselves is not going to appeal to them.
When it comes to the people in their life, they could be very loving and supportive. How these people treat them is then going to be very similar to how ones treats themselves.
To the outside observer it could seem as though one is just lucky and that’s why they are surrounded by people like this. However, if they were able to look into what is taking place in ones inner world, they would see that it has got nothing to do with being lucky.
Truly Showing Up
Due to what they do to take care of their own needs, they will be able to serve others. Through valuing themselves enough to be there for themselves, they will have the energy that they need to be there for others.
To others, they could appear to be someone who does so much for others and very little for themselves. Yet, if they were able to pay attention to other areas of one’s life, they would realise that this is not the case.
Another thing that they will understand is that they deserve good things; this doesn’t mean that they will expect things to just drop into their lap, though. But, through having a healthy sense of entitlement, they will be able to take the first step.
If this wasn’t in place, they could believe that they don’t deserve anything, and this would stop them from taking action altogether. Another outcome would be one to have a strong sense of entitlement and to simply expect other people to provide them with what they want, without them doing anything.
And when something doesn’t go to plan, they are likely to talk to themselves in a very nurturing and supportive way. There will be a voice inside their head that is there to steady them when they falter or to pick them up when they fall down.
Having this supportive voice is going to make it a lot easier for them to keep going when things don’t go to plan or when something falls through. One way of looking at this would be to say that they will be their own best friend.
A Very Different Experience
When someone doesn’t have a sense of self worth and, therefore doesn’t feel good about themselves, their life is going to be radically different. What can be normal is for them to experience negative feelings and thoughts.
Furthermore, they could find that they have a high tolerance for bad behaviour. Being treated badly won’t feel good, but a big part of them will feel comfortable with being treated in this way.
A lot of their time could be spent doing things for others, with them spending very little time on themselves. While this will probably cause them to receive a lot of approval from others, they are still going to be neglecting themselves.
No matter what people say or how good one looks, they are going to be ignoring the most important person in their life – themselves. And even though they are there for others, not being there for themselves is going to stop them from being able to truly be there for them.
Some people might appreciate what they do, but other people could simply take advantage of them. Nonetheless, how these kinds of people treat them is going to be nowhere near as bad as one treats themselves.
There will be what happens externally and then there will be how one talks to themselves. The voice in their head could lay into them for making a small mistake, let alone a big one.
As for a healthy sense of entitlement, one could believe that they are not entitlement to anything. This can stop them from trying to fulfil their needs or going after their dreams, as they are not going to believe that they deserve anything.
Clearly, something is not right here as one should have an internalised sense of their own value. Instead of this, what they will have is a sense of being worthless and of having no value.
A Closer Look
If one has experienced life in this way for a long as they can remember, what it may show is that their early years were anything but nurturing. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected.
Whatever it was that took place, it wouldn’t have had anything to do with their value as a human being. Even so, as they were egocentric as this stage of their life they would have taken it personally.
It was then not that there was something wrong with their caregiver/s; it was that there was something inherently wrong with them. In reality, what took place had absolutely nothing to do with them and it wasn’t their fault.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they will most likely need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.