Even if someone feels worthless, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. However, by not having a felt sense of worth, their life is likely to be anything but fulfilling.
In general, they could have the tendency to please others and ignore their own needs and feelings as a result. If this is the case, their true self is rarely going to see the light of day.
By behaving in this way, they are likely to be used to receiving positive feedback from others. Some people could describe them as being easy-going, helpful and even selfless.
But, if they are often super focused on the needs of others, this is not going to be much of a surprise. They are going to act more like an extension of others as opposed to a separate human being.
When it comes to their inner experience, they could spend a lot of time feeling frustrated and have moments when they feel angry. At other times, they could feel very low and deeply depressed.
But, based on how they experience life, there is going to be no reason for them to be filled with joy. Still, thanks to how long their life has been this way, they could believe that this is just how life is.
If they were to visit their doctor, they could talk about the challenges that they have and they could end up being put on medication. This might allow them to feel better but it almost certainly won’t transform their life.
For this to happen, the first step will be for them to realise that they don’t value themselves and that this is playing a part in why they are experiencing life in this way. At this point, it could seem strange as to how it is possible for them to be unaware of this.
Although realising this would allow them to do something about their life, it could also cause them to come into contact with a lot of pain. Due to this, they are likely to have both consciously and unconsciously done their best throughout their life to keep this pain at bay.
So, if they have ever come into contact with painful feelings, they may consume something or engage in some kind of activity. This will allow them to avoid how they really feel, if only for a short while.
The Other part
Along with this, their extraverted mind will see everyone and everything as being separate from them. Consequently, to this part of them, the experiences that they have won’t have anything to do with them; they will be nothing more than an observer of their life.
They will then just happen to come into contact with people who don’t respect them and mistreat them, for instance. Naturally, this disconnected part of them will cause them to see themselves as a powerless victim, not a co-creator of their reality.
An Invisible Prison
With them doing their best to avoid how they feel and having a mind that will externalise what is taking place inside them, it is clear to see why they won’t be able to realise why their life is the way that it is. For their life to change, they might need to suffer a great deal more than they already have.
After getting to the stage where they have hit rock bottom and can no longer continue to live in this way, they could end up looking for answers. This could be a time when they will end up being told that how they experience life is probably a consequence of what took place during their early years.
If they were to think about their early years, their mind could end up going blank or they could say that this stage of their life wasn’t that bad. What this is likely to show is that their brain has blocked out what happened in order to protect them.
The outcome of this is that they will be aware of a lot of the effects of what happened but they won’t be aware of the cause, which will stop them from being able to join the dots, so to speak. If they were able to go back in time, what they may see is that they were often neglected.
A Brutal Time
To be left and isolated from others would have been too much for their underdeveloped brain and nervous system to handle. This may have taken place from the moment they were born and for a number of years after.
They would have been abandoned by the person/people who were supposed to love, care and protect them, and this would have caused them to feel unwanted, unloved, worthless and as though they didn’t belong. As they were egocentric at this stage of their life and thus would have personalised what happened to them, they wouldn’t have been able to see that how they were treated had nothing to do with them.
For them to have been able to grow into an adult who felt wanted, loved, of worth and as though they belonged, they needed to receive the right nutrients during this stage of their life. But, as they were treated like they were nothing and a burden, they would have been deprived of what they needed to develop in the right way.
For them to know that they are lovable, have inherent worth and have a right to be here, it is unlikely that simply changing what is taking place in their mind will be enough as their whole being will not be in a good way. There is likely to be many, many layers of pain held inside their brain and body that needs to be worked through.
If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.