If one was to think about their life, they may find that they have the need to be perfect in every area of it, or this might only apply to one area. When this is something that applies to all areas of their life, they are likely to experience a lot of pressure.
But when it doesn’t, they are still likely to experience a lot of stress in one area of their life. As a result of this, other areas of their life could end up being effected, and it is then going to be a challenge for them to relax.
One could find that they have the need to be perfect when it comes to their profession, and this is going to mean that they are unable to make mistakes. It will be vital for them to come across as though they are always known what they are doing and that they have all the answers.
Being at a lower level or at the bottom of the ladder, so to speak, won’t be good enough either; they will have to be right at the top. So if this is this isn’t the case, this is likely to be their priority.
It is then not going to be possible for one to let the people around them know that they are an imperfect human being; they will have to hide their true nature. The only thing that will be acceptable will be for them to come across as though they are an exceptional human being.
Furthermore, they may have the need to maintain this image when they are around other people in their life. One will have to make sure that these people perceive them as being highly competent at what they do.
Alternatively, one might spend a lot of time on their image, with this being something that they don’t overlook. It is not going to be enough for them to look good at certain times though, as they will need to look good all the time.
A lot of their time, energy and money, is going to be spent on their appearance, and this could cause them to receive a lot of positive feedback from others. How they feel about themselves is going to be defined by how they look.
They are likely to believe that their value depends on how they look and, if they don’t look right, they will end up being rejected by others. So even though they will receive approval from people, they are not going to feel completely at ease.
Beyond the facade that they present to the world is going to be someone who is living in fear, and this can then mean that they are used to experiencing a lot of anxiety. There will be what they believe will happen if they don’t look right, and there will be what they believe will happen to them as the years pass.
A Big Problem
As although they will have a certain mount of control when it comes to what they can do to their appearance, they are not going to be able to stop their body from getting older. It is then going to be even harder for them to get older, and they might do everything they can to try to stop this process from taking place.
But as the western world is obsessed with beauty and youth, it is not going to be hard for them to find things that will assist them with this process. Ultimately, one is will be trying to delay the inevitable.
A New Option
Nowadays, the need to look perfect can also result in one joining a gym, and this can be a way for them to create the perfect body. And along with what they do in a gym, there can be what they will have to eat when they are not in one.
Now, this is not to say that exercise will simply be another part of their life, as it will end up being so much more. Just about every other area of their life can end up fading into the background.
One could believe that once their body looks how they want it to, they will be able to finally feel good about themselves. How they feel about themselves is going to be seen as something that will change through altering their physical appearance.
And if one was to talk to other people about this, they are unlikely to encourage them to deal with how they feel. The reason for this is that not only is it not uncommon for people to take this route, but it is also not uncommon for people to avoid themselves.
So after pushing their body to the limits and being able to change how they look, they may find that they feel different about themselves. This could mean that they now have a figure that allows them to receive a lot of approval in the real world and online.
At the same time, they may find that they still feel the same, even though they now look different. Still, what they could find is that through receiving so much positive feedback, it makes it easier for them to disconnect from how they feel.
What’s going on?
When one has the need to be perfect, it can show that they feel worthless, and this then stops them from being able to embrace the fact that they are an imperfect human being. Through feeling flawed, they will need to do everything they can to stop people from realising how bad they are.
And through creating the impression that they are perfect, it will show that they have created a false-self. Due to how they feel, they will believe that they only have two options: either to feel as though they have no value, or to feel as though they have more value than anyone else.
A New Start
What this shows is that when one feels worthless, there is no middle ground; however, when one is able to embrace their inherent value, they will be able to move into the middle. They will no longer have the need to be perfect, or to see themselves as being better or worse than anyone else.
This will give them the ability to accept themselves as they are and to longer feel as though their value depends on how they look or what they do. When one feels worthless, it is likely to be a sign that they are carrying toxic shame, and this can mean that they were abused and/or neglected during their early years.
If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.