It is often said that human beings are born with inherent worth, meaning that this is not something that they need to develop or even earn. At the same time, what is often spoken about is what someone can do to develop their own self-worth.
Upon hearing both of these views, one could end feeling slightly confused. What could end up coming to their mind is that, if human beings are born with inherent value, there would be no need for them to develop it.
The next thing that they could think about is that human beings are either born with it and don’t need to develop it or they are not born with it and need to develop it. It is then going to be one or the other, not both.
Nonetheless, while it may seem as though it is one or the other, it is not going to be this black and white. One way to look at this would be to one to imagine that there is gold in their garden but in order to find it, they will need to remove many layers of dirt.
Therefore, every human being on the planet will have inherent value, but some human beings might need to remove many layers of dirt to connect to it. When someone undertakes this task, they won’t be developing self-worth from scratch; they will be connecting to what is already inside them.
When it comes to why someone wouldn’t be in touch with their inherent worth, it is likely to be primarily due to the messages that they have picked up throughout their life, with what took place during their early years having the biggest effect. What will have also played a part in how they have interpreted what took place.
Out of Touch
With each layer that has built up, they will have become even more disconnected from the value that is inside them. In fact, they could be so disconnected from their inherent value that they might not be able to accept that they actually have inherent value.
They could hear this and their mind could instantly reject it, seeing it as something that has no basis in reality. As far as this part of them is concerned, their value could be based on what they do and what they achieve.
It’s On The Outside
If they don’t do anything or achieve anything, then, they are not going to have any value. Having this outlook is likely to mean that they are used to experiencing a fair amount of pressure.
They could fear that other people would reject and abandon them if they were to just be and didn’t do anything. If they step off the treadmill, if only for a short period of time, it will be hard for them to feel good about themselves.
What is also likely to have a big effect on how they experience life is their inner critic. Ultimately, this part of their psyche will undermine them, yet it may seem as though it is there to assist them.
The reason for this is that it can create the impression that it is one's conscience, the part of them that is there to make sure that they stay on the straight and narrow and don’t harm others, for instance. Nevertheless, it is likely to be something that is mainly a consequence of all of the negativity that they have experienced as a child.
Back In Time
Perhaps their early years were a time when one of both of their caregivers was very critical. The voices that were in the external world would then have ended up being internalised, causing one to talk to themselves in the same way as others used to speak to them.
This voice is then nothing more than a parasite, something that is stealing their energy and has no reason to exist in their head. In a way, this part of them is like the gatekeeper that is preventing them from being able to enter their own kingdom, which would allow them to embrace their inherent worth.
If this inner critic or gatekeeper was dealt with, it would allow one to embrace the truth. However, while dealing with this part directly may appear to be the only option, another option would be to deal with the inner wounds that are keeping this aspect in place.
Through working through these inner wounds, the foundations that keep the inner critic in place can start to weaken. The other part here will be for one to receive positive feedback from others.
The Right Time
Still, if positive feedback is provided before one starts to work on their inner wounds, it can just bounce right off. The ideal will be for them to work on their inner wounds, whilst also receiving positive feedback.
This is why the assistance of a therapist or a healer can be so beneficial as someone like this can provide one with the love and acceptance that they need, whilst helping them to work through that which is preventing them from connecting to their inherent worth. The love and acceptance that they provide will gradually be internalised, allowing one to provide themselves with the love and acceptance that they need as time goes by.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they will probably need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.