When someone has an entitlement mentality, it can cause them to behave in ways that will have a negative effect on others. Through being this way, one of their main priorities will be fulfil their own needs.
These are likely to be needs that are seen are being more important than the needs of others. Therefore, as long as they are able to get them met, it won’t matter what effect their behaviour has on others.
Not only will these needs be important to them, but they will believe that other people should have the same outlook. So, regardless of what their needs are, one will expect other people to respond to their needs.
What this is likely to show is that one believes that this is something that should just happen; it is not going to be necessary for them to earn anything. If they want something, it should be provided.
It can be as if one is the centre of the universe, and everyone else will be on this planet to serve their needs. And as they are so valuable, there will be no reason for them not to have what they desire.
Yet, if this doesn’t happen, there is the chance that one will end up being consumed by rage. As far as they are concerned, they won’t have been treated in the right way, and so their behaviour will be justified.
Now, this could mean that someone has treated them badly, or it could show come down to the fact that they haven’t been given special treatment. If this happened to someone else, they might just brush it off; this is because they are not going to expect everyone to treat them like a king or queen, for instance.
It is not going to be possible for them to do this though, as this kind of behaviour is not going to be acceptable. Based on what has taken place, one can feel as though another person has caused them harm.
There will be the pain that they are in and there will be the pain that they want to cause to the other person. In their eyes, the other person will have treated them badly, and it will be down to them to get their own back.
One way of looking at this would be to say that even though one sees themselves as being special, there is another part of them that is not on board with this. It is then like a house that has been built on sound.
Consequently, being treated differently by others causes them to get in touch with what is taking place at a deeper level, and this is then why they end up experiencing rage. This allows them to feel powerful; whereas if this didn’t take place, they would probably end up hitting rock bottom.
The reason one has risen so high can be due to the fact that they felt so low at one point in their life. This is then why they can end up falling so for down when another person doesn’t give them special treatment and they are unable to experience rage.
At a deeper level, they are likely to be carrying toxic shame, and by disconnecting from what is taking place within them it allows them to feel better about themselves. This stops them from feeling so low; the trouble is that this also causes them to lose touch with their healthy shame.
What this can show is that they were abused and/or neglected during their early years. Their developmental needs wouldn’t have been met and this would have stopped them for being able to develop in the right way.
Alternatively, one may have been brought up by a caregiver who abused them in another way. Here, one may have been brought up to believe that they were better than everyone else, and this could show that their caregiver had some kind of mental disorder.
It’s a Bad Thing
It could then be said that if someone is a healthy human being, they are not going to have an entitlement mentality. This will stop them from expecting special treatment from everyone they come into contact with, and it will cause them to work for what they want.
However, while it can seem as though there are only two options here, it is not this black and white. Another way of looking at this would be to say that not feeling entitled to anything is just about bad as feeling entitled to everything.
In The Middle Of the Spectrum
When one doesn’t believe that they are entitled to anything, they are unlikely to be able to feel good about themselves. One is not going to believe that they deserve anything, and this can stop them from working towards their goals.
A healthy sense of entitlement is then what allows someone to take action; without this, they can feel as though they don’t deserve to be here. Yet, when one goes to the other extreme, they can feel as though they are more deserving than anyone else.
A Foundational Piece
In addition to how it will affect their goals, there will also be the impact it will have on their relationships. It can cause them to put up with bad behaviour from others, and it won’t matter if they are paying for a service.
After all, they are not going to feel entitled to being treated with respect; this will be seen as something that only applies to other people. Deep down, they will be missing the understanding that they deserve to exist and to be supported.
What this is likely to show is that one’s early years were a time when they were not given the kind of care that they needed. Perhaps their caregiver’s were also treated in the same way, and the abuse and/or neglect has then passed from one generation to another (and it could go back even further).
If one can relate to this, they might need to reach out for external support; this is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer. This will give them the chance to deal with what is stopping them from realising their inherent value.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.