When it comes to how someone behaves, there are a number of things that can play a part. And one thing that will have a big effect on how they behave is how they feel about themselves.
There are going to be people who generally feel good, others who don’t, and those who swing from one side to the other. As a result of this, they can all have a different experience on this earth.
When one generally feels good about themselves, there is going to be no reason for them to tolerate bad behaviour. If someone was to treat them badly, they could soon up feeling uncomfortable.
Drawing the Line
During this time, they could let the other person know that their behaviour is not acceptable, or they could end up walking away from them. How they respond can all depend on who the other person is.
If they were at work, for instance, it might be necessary for them to stand their ground at to make sure this person doesn’t behave in this way again. Yet, if they were on a date with someone who behaved in this way, it might be a good idea for them to move on.
And when it comes to the people who they spend time with, these are likely to be people who respect and value them. There will then be no reason for one to put on an act and to be someone else.
As one values and respects themselves, there is a strong chance that the people they spend time with are the same. It is then not that one just happens to have people like this in their life; it is that these people are a reflection of what is going on for them.
Along with this, there will be what is taking place in their career, and one might have been able to elevate themselves to a certain position. But if they are not seen as someone who is extremely successful, it could mean that they are doing something that is fulfilling.
Or, one might have gone back to college/university to get the qualifications they need to embark on a new stage of their life. What they did before might not have been in aligned with their needs; it was then time for them to do something else.
And as one values themselves, they will also want to make sure that they eat food that is good for them. This is not to say that they will be obsessed with this area of their life, but they won’t overlook it either.
What they put into their body could also be supported by what they do with their body. One might go to the gym a few times a week, or they might enjoy going running or cycling, for instance.
A Door Mat
On the other hand, if one doesn’t value themselves, they can have the tendency to tolerate bad behaviour. So instead of feeling the need to speak up if someone walks over them, they could stay silent.
Part of them might feel uncomfortable when this happens, but another part of them wont. The part of them that feels comfortable with this kind of behaviour will be the strongest, and this is why it is taking place.
Just the Same
And when it comes to the people in their life, they could be used to being treated in the same way. These people could be self-centred and expect one to meet their needs, but they might not be willing to return the favour.
Therefore, their relationships will be one-sided, and one will give far more than they receive. In addition to this, there is the chance that they have been in a number of abusive relationships, and they might even be in one now.
On The Wrong Track
If they have a career that is fulfilling, it might not be possible for them to get very far, or to accept how well they are doing. When it comes to the former, one might not believe they deserve to go further.
Yet if they are unable to realise how well they are doing, it will show that how they feel about themselves clouds their ability to see clearly. Alternatively, one could spend most of their time in a job that is not very fulfilling.
This area of their life is then going to cause them to experience a lot of pain, but they might believe that this is just how life is. And when it comes to what they eat, they might not be any better off.
They might eat a lot of food each day that is not good for them, and they might have the habit of eating too much or too little. As for exercise, this could be an area of their life that doesn’t get the attention it requires.
The Usual Approach
If someone was to experience life in this way and, they were to look into what they could do about it, they might be told that they need to develop their self-worth. This can then be a time when it will be about adding things, as opposed to taking things away.
Now, after doing a number of things to develop their self-worth, one might find that they begin to feel better about themselves. At the same time, this might not lead to their desired outcome.
A Closer Look
However, if one feels worthless and they are told to change how they feel through adding things, it’s as if they are not enough as they are. So instead of looking into why they feel this way to begin with, they are reacting to what is taking place within them.
It is then similar to telling someone who doesn’t feel good about themselves to go out and achieve things; as through doing this, it will allow them to change how they feel. One is then being told that their value is based on what they do and not on who they are.
And if one’s value is based on who they are and not on what they do, there is going to be no need for them to do anything. There are clearly things that one can do to change how they feel, but it will also be important for them to let go of what is stopping them from realising their inherent value.
When it comes to what is in the way, it can relate to what took place when they were younger. Through working with a therapist or a healer, one can let go of what doesn’t belong to them, and this can allow them to embrace their inherent value.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.