When someone is in touch with their inherent value, it is going to be a lot easier for them to act in a confident manner. For one thing, they are not going to feel as though they have anything to hide.
Deep down, they will realise that who they are is enough, and this will allow them to express their true-self. Consequently, how they come across is generally going to be a reflection of who they are.
Now, this may mean that they are outgoing, or it could mean that they are more withdrawn. There could be moments when they need to spend more time around others and moments when they need more time by themselves.
It Is Not Fixed
What this shows is that just because someone is in touch with their value, it doesn’t mean that they will be an extrovert. It can seem this way, as this kind of behaviour is often seen as the ideal way to behave.
So, instead of using this as a marker when it comes to whether someone values themselves, it would be better to take a deeper look into how they live their life. One area that will reveal a lot is what their relationships are like.
An Important Area
When one is connected to their value, they are likely to spend time around people who also value them. In addition to this, they are not just going to talk about trivial matters when they get together.
It might not matter what is on their mind, as there is the chance that they will be able to open up about it to these people. One is then going to be able to share their thoughts and they will be able to open up about how they feel.
This area of their life is then going to have a positive effect on their wellbeing, and they could be grateful to have these people in their life. If, on the other hand, one didn’t feel comfortable with themselves, this wouldn’t be an option.
One would have to hide their true-self and it would only be possible for them to share certain parts of themselves. They could spend a lot of time talking about what they have done each day, and they would probably have the need to impress these people.
The reason for this is that when one doesn’t value themselves, they will need other people to give them what they are unable to give to themselves. In order for this to take place; one will have to be who others want them to be (or who they think they want them to be).
This would then stop one from being able to pay attention to their own needs and feelings; thus, they would end up neglecting themselves. Their lower needs would be met, but their higher needs would end up being overlooked.
Pleasing others will be what feels safe, and this is then going to take care of their need to survive. The downside to this is that even though this will allow them to survive, it is not going to lead to a fulfilling existence.
If someone like this was to look into why their survival is associated with pleasing others, they may find that it is way for them to keep people in their life. One could believe that if they were to find out how flawed they are, it would cause them to be rejected and abandoned.
It Makes Sense
It is then not going to be much of a surprise for someone like this to have confidence issues. Along with being disconnected from their inherent value, they are going to spend a lot of time worrying about whether people will accept them to not.
There will be anxiety, doubt and shame, and their self-talk is not going to be very supportive. However, this doesn’t mean that everyone who acts in a confident manner is in touch with their own value.
What can take place instead is that one can disconnect from how they feel and end up creating an inflated self. One can then come across as though they are full of confidence.
How they come across is then going to be the complete opposite of how they really feel about themselves. This is something that can take place when someone is attractive, as the positive feedback that they receive from others can allow them to feel good about themselves.
And while this is going to affect both men and women, it is something that can have a bigger impact on women. Regardless of where they go, they are likely to come into contact with people who will give them their energy.
People are more likely to look at them, to speak to them, and to treat them well, and this is can cause them to feel important. No matter what they are like as a person or what they have achieved, they will be treated as though they are valuable.
This is then similar to how a rose doesn’t need to do anything in order to be appreciated; nevertheless, it won’t be long until it no longer has this effect. In the same way, one is not going to be able to experience life in this way forever.
There will come a time when they will no longer receive the same amount of positive feedback from others, and it can then cause them to feel as though they are invisible. When this happens, it will be vital for one to get in touch with their inherent value.
It will be a lot easier for someone to handle this transition where they don’t rely on their looks. What this shows is that when someone is in touch with their inherent value, their life will be far more fulfilling.
If one is out of touch with their inherent value, and they want this to change, they might need to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.