While there are people who feel good about themselves, there are others who feel worthless. However, even if one doesn’t feel good about themselves, it doesn’t mean that they are in touch with how they feel.
Disconnected What this comes down to is that one can end up disconnecting from how they feel, and this will be a way for them to elevate themselves. This can then cause one to go from one extreme to another. Ergo, instead of them feeling as though they have no value, they can feel see themselves as having more value than anyone else. As a result of this, it can cause other people to wonder what is going on. Two Options Before one ended up this way, they would have believed that there were only two options: either they saw themselves as being inferior or they saw themselves as being superior. If one went with the first option, it wouldn’t have allowed them to experience control. On the other hand, going with the second option would have allowed them to change what was taking place for them. This would then have stopped them from feeling as though they had no control over their life. A Reaction At the same time, it might be more accurate to say that this is probably something that took place without one needing to really think about it. One would probably have just been drawn to the second option. As a result, everything else would have gradually fallen in to place. This would then have given one a completely new identity, and it might have seemed as though they would never feel this way again. The Next Step And although one could end up seeing themselves as being better than others without having anything to back this up, they may end up doing everything they can to rise to the top. One could then go onto become extremely successful in their career, for instance. This is not to say that everyone they meet will respond to them in a positive manner, as there are likely to be people who will see right through them. In their eyes, it is not going to matter how much they have achieved. A Cover Up They could see that this is someone who feels inferior and this is why they act the way they do. How they come across is then going to be nothing more than an act, and not something that is built on firm foundations. Still, there will be people who will look up to them, and they could see them as someone who has ‘made it’, so to speak. But as they can be an example of what is means to be successful in today’s world, it is to be expected that some people will admire them. Another Route Alliteratively, one could stay in touch with how they feel and there could be times when they are able to keep it at bay. What this will then mean is that they won’t end up developing a superiority complex. Even so, they could still do everything they can to become successful in their career. One is then not going to completely disconnect from how they feel, but they won’t completely embrace it either. Feedback Through being this way, it might be normal for other people to be drawn to them, and this is because they won’t act as though they are better than others. There could be times when they see that one doesn’t value themselves. When it comes to the person who is completely disconnected from how they feel, they are likely to be used to walking over others; whereas this person can be used to other people walking over them. And as they are not completely out of touch with how they feel, they could have ups and downs. Inner World When one is out of touch with how they feel about themselves, they are not going to have this problem. But if one has a moment when they feel down, they could soon find that they end up hitting rock bottom. During this time, they could look into what they can do to take their career to the next level. This will be seen as a way for them to change how they feel, and this will show that they believe they can change how they feel through what they achieve externally. The Answer After all, if one didn’t have this outlook, they wouldn’t have worked so hard to get to where they are. Through being this way, there is always going to be something else for them to achieve. Therefore, no matter what they do, it won’t have a lasting effect on how they feel about themselves. One is then going to be a treadmill that won’t stop and, if they were to get off and to face up to what is taking place within them, the pain would probably be unbearable. No Escape If one is disconnected from how they feel, they could still have moments when they have to face up to what is taking place within them. This could happen if they experience a setback, if they were to become ill, or it could take place once they reach a certain age. So what this shows is that regardless of what approach someone takes when they feel worthless, it is not going to be possible for them to change how they feel through being successful. The only thing success will do is give them the chance to run away from themselves. A Closer Look If they are able to step back and to reflect on what is taking place, they will realise that it is not possible for them to completely avoid how they feel. When one feels worthless, it can be the result of what took place when they were younger. Perhaps this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected, and this would have caused them to believe that they were inherently flawed. Ultimately, this doesn’t reflect their true nature. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their circumstances, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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