When one behaves in a way that is seen as being socially acceptable, it can be a lot easier for them to feel good about themselves. But before they were even old enough to go out into the world by themselves, there would have been how they were treated by their caregiver/s.
So, if one if likes to spend a lot of time around others and talks a lot, there is the chance that they will have received positive feedback throughout their life. What this can come down to is that their behaviour will be seen as normal.
Now, this is not to say that they won’t have been treated badly by anyone; what it comes down to is that they wouldn’t have been treated as though there was something wrong with them. Yet, if they were not treated in this way when they were younger, it could show that they were brought up by people who were reserved, for instance.
A Positive Effect
Through being treated in this way, it would have been a lot easier for them to develop a positive self-image. They would have realised that their behaviour was acceptable and that they didn’t need to be someone else.
This would have stopped them from developing a mask and it would have allowed them to stay in touch with their true needs and feelings. Ultimately, there will be no reason for them to hide themselves.
Thus, when it comes to the people who they are close to, there will be no need for them to put on an act. These people will know who they are and they won’t have the need to change them.
Some of these people could be just as outgoing as they are and some could be the complete opposite. But even if they are close to people who are different, it doesn’t mean that they will try to change them.
If, on the other hand, one didn’t accept themselves, it would be a lot harder for them to accept people who are different. One might then believe that these people have something wrong with them and that it is down to them to put them right.
Instead, one will be able to appreciate what these people bring to the world, and this will show that they don’t believe that they are better than them. One is going to value what these people have to offer.
However, if one doesn’t like to spend a lot of time around others and they don’t always talk, there is the chance that they haven’t received a lot of positive feedback during their life. This is because this kind of behaviour is often seen as being abnormal and as a sign that one has something wrong with them.
Once again, this doesn’t mean that everyone they have come across will have treated them this way, as there are likely to have been people who treated them differently. When they were younger, the people around them may have acted as though they had a problem.
A Negative Effect
Through being treated in this way, it may have caused them to develop a negative self-image. One may have come to believe that their behaviour is not acceptable, and this may have caused them to change.
As a result of this, they may have ended up crating a false-self, and this may have set them up to disconnect from their true needs and feelings. It would have been as if there was something wrong with their true-self.
Due this, there is the chance that one will spend time around people who don’t know who they are. When one is in their company they might play a role and, if they were to reveal their true nature, they might end up being rejected.
These people are likely to enjoy spending a lot of time around others and being the centre of attention. If they do spend time with people who accept them, this might be something that rarely takes place.
The people who can’t accept them can appear to have it all together, but as they treat them badly it shows that this is nothing more than an illusion. One is going to need to spend more time by themselves, as this will allow them to recharge.
This is just part of being sensitive, and there is no reason for them to feel ashamed of the fact that they can’t handle as much stimulation as the average person. Nevertheless, if one believes that there is something wrong with them, it is going to stop them from being able to accept themselves.
In The Way
What they experienced when they were younger and what they have experienced as an adult will have had a big effect on them. If one was abused for being sensitive when they were growing up, it may mean that they are carrying toxic shame.
This would have caused them to feel as though they were inherently flawed, and covering up their true-self would have been a way for them to survive. These people were unable to accept their value and this then stopped one from being able to realise their own value.
In order for one to accept themselves, it will be necessary for them to let go of what doesn’t belong to them. This will relate to the beliefs that don’t serve them and they might also be carrying trauma.
External support may be needed here, and this can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.