If someone doesn’t feel good about themselves, they can look for a way to change how they feel. They could be in a very desperate place, which may mean that they will try just about anything if it promises to change their life.
So if they were to come across a book that said that their life could be changed in a few weeks or a course that claimed that their life could be transformed in a weekend, they might not even raise an eye brow. Without even thinking about it, they could end up taking the next step.
The Perfect Outcome
By reading this book and applying what they learn or going on a course and doing different exercise, for instance, their life may end up being transformed. How they feel about themselves will have changed, thereby allowing them to experience life differently.
They may be moments when they don’t feel good, but in general, this won’t be an issue. One will then have gone from feeling as though they were in a bath that was full of dirty water, to being in a bath that is full of clean water.
Ultimately, they will be bathing in their own self-worth and this will be radically different to how it was before. The good feelings that they experience are then likely to be directed to others, too.
This could be seen as the ideal scenario, with it being how someone should experience life on this planet. The type of self-worth that they experience won’t be based on them having an inflated sense of their own value; it will be something that is grounded in reality.
Conversely, someone may end up going down a path like this, only to find that how they feel about themselves doesn’t really change. Or if it does change, it is not something that lasts for very long.
What this could then do is cause them to look for another book or course that will enable them to transform how they feel about themselves. The same thing that took place last time they read a book/took a course could take place once again.
A Deeper Look
If one was to take a step back and to reflect on what is driving their behaviour, they may find that they believe that there is something out there that will completely transform how they feel about themselves in a very short period of time and that will be the end of it. Said another way, they might be looking for a magic pill.
What might cross their mind at this point in time is that this is not something that will take place overnight. As a result of this, they will need to see self-worth as something that develops over time, as opposed to something that is developed and that’s the end of it.
Furthermore, they may believe that this is something that they will develop by adding things. Ergo, using affirmations, having positive thoughts and doing loving things for themselves, for instance, can be seen as the way for them to change how they feel about themselves.
These things can all help; however, what they may come to see is that it is not so much about adding things as it is about letting things go. One way of looking at it would be to say that if it wasn’t for all the baggage that they are carrying, they would feel good about themselves.
The reason that they are disconnected from their inherent self-worth is most likely because of the trauma that they are carrying. Thus, as they work through the layers of pain that are inside them, more of their self-worth will be revealed.
If there was only one layer of trauma inside them, they would be able to connect to it after one course or one healing session, for instance. It is a bit like the grieving process inasmuch as they will be many layers of pain to work through and there can be times when they feel worse, not better.
With this in mind, it will be important for one to be patient and not to expect too much too soon. When it comes to the layers of trauma that they are working through, a lot of this trauma can relate to what took place during their early years.
One way for them to work through this pain is to reach out for the support of a therapist or a healer. Inner child work can be a big part of what will allow them to develop a stronger connection to their inherent worth.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.