When one believes that they are not good enough, it can set them to live a life that is not very fulfilling. For one thing, this can stop them from taking the steps that they need to take to fulfil their goals.
One is not going to view themselves in a positive light, and this is going to cause them to settle for less. This is not to say that they will be happy with what is taking place, but it can be as if they don’t have a choice.
So if they were to get angry about what is taking place in their life, it is unlikely to have an effect. At a deeper level, they will feel powerless, and this may mean that they will have the tendency to act in a passive aggressive manner.
How they see themselves is likely to have an effect on their career, relationships and on the kind of food they eat, amongst other things. One could be in a position where they do something that they can’t stand.
But even though they will be happy once their time at work has come to an end, they might soon think about how it will only be a matter of time before they have to go back. It is then going to be a challenge for them to relax and to enjoy themselves when they are not at work.
When it comes to the people who they spend time with, it is unlikely to be any different. The people in their life might only be concerned with their own needs, and one is then going to have to neglect themselves when they are in their company.
Thus, one is not going to feel good in their presence and they are unlikely to feel good when their time together has come to an end. And, if they are in a relationship with someone, this person could walk all over them.
From the outside, it could seem as though they are a victim, and that there is nothing they can do to change their life. Consequently, it will be down to the people who treat them badly to change.
Yet, if these people were aware of how their inner world is affecting their life, they might soon change their outlook. What this comes down to is that one’s inner world will need to change in order for their life to change.
Black and White
As a result of this, if someone is doing well in life it is going to show that they value themselves. At the same time, this is not what always takes place: instead, one could have taken a different approach.
When this happens, one won’t simply go along with what is taking place within them; they will do everything they can to keep it at bay. One way of looking at this will be to say that they have taken a more masculine approach.
They will resist what is taking place within them, and this will cause them to take action. In fact, there is a strong chance that they will find it hard to it still; one could be obsessed with achieving things.
On the other hand, when one accepts how they feel and doesn’t do anything to change it, it can be seen as a more feminine approach. One will have surrendered to what is taking place within them.
Moving Up The ladder
Through resisting what is taking place within them and taking action, there is the chance that they have been able to achieve a certain level of success. This could mean that there are plenty of people who see them as someone who has ‘made it’.
But once they have achieved something, it is unlikely to have much of an effect on them. It might allow them to feel good about themselves for a short time and then their true feelings could come to the surface once again.
What this shows is that no matter what they achieve in the external world, it won’t change how they feel about themselves; the only thing that it will do is allow them to avoid how they feel. It is then not going to be possible for them to enjoy the journey; the only thing they will be interested in is the destination.
So when something doesn’t go to plan or if they were to relax, they could end up coming into contact with how they truly feel about themselves. This could be a time when they will end up feeling depressed, and they could engage in self-harming behaviour.
If someone was to find out about what is taking place within them, they might find it hard to believe how they have been able to get so far in life. This person will then realise that the image that one presents to the world is nothing more than a facade.
Through wearing a mask, there is also the chance that one’s relationships are not very fulfilling. But as one will generally be out of touch with their true feelings, this is to be expected.
A Deeper Look
This area of their life will only change if they are able to embrace how they feel, but as they feel worthless when this happens, this is unlikely to take place. The reason one feels this way could be due to what took place when they were younger.
During this time, they may have been abused and/or neglected by their caregiver/s. Through being treated in this way, they would have experienced trauma and different associations would have been formed.
One is then likely to be carry toxic shame, and this will have permeated their whole being. This will be what is stopping them from being able to realise that they are good enough.
If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.