What is clear is that if someone wants to be good at something, they will need to put the work in and to be patent. In addition to the time that they need to put in each week, there can be moments when they will need to change what they are doing.
The Next Level
Through doing this, it will allow them to continue to grow; whereas if they were to do the same thing, this might not take place. This could mean that they will only need to make a few minor adjustments.
Then again, they may need to completely change what they are doing. For example, if one wanted to become a good martial artist, it could just be a case of changing their routine.
A Familiar Process
If one was to take a step back from this, they may find that there are a number of things that they are already good at. This could relate to things that they have done since they were very young.
But as they have been able to do these things for so long, they may find that they don’t even think about them. It is then just part of who they are and there is no reason for them to think about how their life used to be.
Even so, there could be times when one comes into contact with people who admire what they can do. Some of these people way respond in this way because they would also like to be able to do the same thing.
Perhaps they are working hard to be able to do what one can do, or it might be nothing more than a dream. Along with this, there are likely to be moments when they admire what other people can do.
A Balanced Outlook
But even when they do come onto contact with people like this, it doesn’t mean that they well feel inferior. One is then going to be in touch with their inherent value, and this means that they won’t believe that their value is based on what they do.
As a result of this, it is going to be a lot easier for them to learn new things and to accept that it is not possible for them to be good at everything. So, if they do something and it takes a while for them to get a hang of it, there will be no need for them to punish themselves.
A Human Being
One is, after all, an imperfect human being, which means that it is going to be normal for them to get things wrong and to make mistakes from time to time. With this in mind, if they haven’t done something before, there is going to be no reason for them to be good at it straight away.
Therefore, when it comes to learning something new, they will be able to be patient and to talk to themselves in a positive manner. And, if they were to try something new but they didn’t want to continue, they could stop doing it without feeling like a failure.
There inner dialogue is generally going to be supportive and, as this is the case, they are less likely to believe that other people will judge them. This comes down to the fact that what is taking place within them will have a big effect on how they expect other people to treat them.
One could then try something and find it hard to get it right, but they won’t be waiting for someone to criticise them, for instance. Through having self-compassion, it is going to allow them to treat themselves with love and respect.
However, although this is how some people will experience life, there are going to be others who are unable to relate to this. Deep down, they can believe that they need to be good at everything.
Thus, even if they are not aware of what they believe, they will be aware of the effect that this has on their life. If they can’t do something, they might do everything they can to hide this from others.
One of the ways that this could take place is by making sure that they avoid going to places where they would have to do the things that they can’t do. As if they were to go there, they could end up feeling exposed.
What this can also do is cause one to work extremely hard whenever they try something new, which can allow them to make a lot of progress in a very short period of time. This will then be a way for them to minimize the amount of negative feedback that they believe they will receive.
There is going to be how they feel when they try something new and when they are around someone who can do something that they can’t. Yet, even though these two situations are different, it doesn’t mean that one will feel completely different.
The fact that they can’t do something is likely to cause them to feel bad, and then they will probably feel even worse if they can’t do it straight away. And as someone else can do something that they can’t, this could cause them to feel as though they are inferior.
A Human Doing
If one was to take a step back and to reflect on what is taking place, they may find that they feel worthless. Their value is then going to be attached to what they do as opposed to who they are.
As this is how they see themselves, it is going to be vital for them to do everything they can to hide this from others. This can cause one to create the impression that they are more-than human.
If they were to reveal their true-self, they are likely to believe that this would cause them to be rejected and abandoned. There is a strong chance that their early years were a time when their value was based on what they did and not on who they were.
In order for one to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.