If one was to think about what the modern day world values, beauty and youth may come to mind. And even if other things cross their mind, it will be only too clear how important these things are.
One Step Further
While it has been this way for quite some time, it could be said that this is something that has gone even further in recent years. This partly comes down to social media; with this being another area where someone can feel the need to look a certain way.
It is then not going to matter if they are offline or online, as they can feel the need to maintain their appearance. At the same time, it might be more accurate to say that they can feel the need to look good regardless of where they are.
One way of looking at this would be to say that this is another weight for them to carry in their life. Looking good in the real world is not enough; they will also need to look good in the virtual world.
Still, if one is in a position where they look good, it might be easier for them to handle this pressure. On the other hand, if they are beginning to lose their looks it is likely to be a different story.
However, while one will only be able to do so much in the real world, this is not going to be the case when they are online. For example, if they were to take a picture and it didn’t look right, they could simply edit it.
A picture can then look completely different to how it did to begin with, but one might be happy with how they look. The trouble is that the more they change how they look online, the harder it can be for them to accept how they look offline.
A Big Contrast
One can then receive a lot of approval on social media but, deep down, they will know that this is not what they actually look like. So, when their ‘friends’ and family see them in the real world, they could be in for a shock.
Yet, if one hadn’t edited their pictures online, there would be no reason for these people to respond in this way. Now, this may mean that they won’t receive as much positive feedback online, but it will be easier for them to accept how they look.
What they could also do is look into what they can do to change their appearance, and there are going to be a number of things that they can do. After they have tried something, a number of wrinkles might disappear, for instance.
This may allow them to feel better about themselves but, even if it does, this won’t be the end of it. They will need to go through the whole process again in a little while, and they will continue to age.
Delaying the Inevitable
Ultimately, this is a battle that can’t be won; the only thing one can to do is to slow it down. Nevertheless, if this wasn’t having such a big effect on how they feel, they wouldn’t need to be so caught up in how they look.
One is going to look at themselves in the mirror and they will end up feeling a certain way after. Changing their appearance is going to be a way for them to change how they feel about themselves.
If one was to get in touch what is taking place within them, they may believe that they are no longer as valuable as they were before. At an emotional level, one might feel as though they are worthless.
What this can then show is that one has attached their value to how they look; it is then going to be normal for them to feel this way. Whereas if their value was attached to who they are, it would be different.
In addition to this, they could feel a deep sense of sadness, and this could then case them to be depressed. This might be hard for them to understand; especially as it’s not as if they have lost someone.
Still, what they will have lost is the appearance that they used to have, and this shows that loss can be experienced whenever something changes. Their life will never be the same again.
One way of looking at this would be to say that this is the result of being brought up in a society that places beauty and youth above all else. For a while, this was a game that they could win, but now that their appearance has changed, this is no longer the case.
What this can also show is that they were brought up in an environment where their value was based on what they did, as opposed to who they were. This would then have stopped them from being able to embrace their inherent value.
No Longer Hidden
When their appearance enabled them to receive a lot of positive feedback from others, it would have allowed then to keep their true feelings at bay. But now that this external feedback is no longer as plentiful, it is not longer possible for them to run away from how they feel.
Therefore, if one was treated like a human being and not a human doing when they were younger, it would probably be a lot easier for them to handle this stage of their life. What this emphasises is how much of an effect one’s childhood years can have on how someone experiences life as an adult.
If one was treated like an object during their younger years, there will be the beliefs that they formed and they could be carrying trauma. Through the assistance of a therapist or a healer, one can heal themselves.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.