Self-Worth: Why Do Some People Only Feel Good When They Are Receiving Positive Feedback From Others?

In today’s world, it could be said that it is not difficult for someone to receive positive feedback from others. This is largely due to the fact that this is something that can take place by using social media.

It’s Easy

The only thing that one will need to have is some kind of device, and from here, they will be able to receive positive feedback from their ‘friends’. This will typically take place through uploading pictures and sharing what they have been doing.

There is going to be no need for them to leave their home or to do anything significant; they will just be able to tap a screen a few times. It might then only be a matter of time before people start to ‘like’ and comment on what they have shared.

Now and Then

Now, this could be something that one does a few times a week, or they could it a few times a day. What is also likely to play a part here is what kind of mood they are in, as they could share more when they feel down, for instance.

If one generally doesn’t share a lot, it could show that they don’t have a strong need for approval from others. Yet, if one does need to share a lot, it could show that this isn’t the case.

Another Part

It would be inaccurate to say that everyone is going to receive the same amount of positive feedback. What will play a part here is how many ‘friends’ someone has, and it could be said that this is something that they have a certain amount control over.

Another thing that will have an effect will be what they look like, and there is only going to be so much that they can do about this. So if one is seen as being physically attractive, it is likely to be a lot easier for them to receive positive feedback from others.

Less Effort

Through being this way, it is going to be even easier than it will be for the people who are not seen in this way. That is unless someone has worked hard and achieved something significant.

In this case, someone will have created value through doing things; but when one is attractive, they won’t have to do anything to be seen as being valuable. Regardless of what they do or what they have achieved, they are likely to be seen as having value.

The Illusion of Equality

What this shows is that although we all come from the same source, that doesn’t mean that everyone is seen as having the same value. While the ideal might be for everyone to be seen as having the same value, that’s not how this world works at this time.

How someone looks plays a big part in how people respond them, and perhaps this is why the west is so obsessed with youth and beauty. And even if someone denies this, there is still a strong chance that they will respond more favourably to people who are attractive.

In The Past

But with that aside, what is clear is that it takes a lot less effort for someone to receive positive feedback than it used to. When social media didn’t exist, one would have needed to go out into the world.

And before this took place, they would have spent a certain amount time on their appearance. The amount of time a man would have spent would typically have been far less than a woman would have spent.

Secure

When one is in position where they don’t need a lot of positive feedback from others and they only share things from time to time, it can show that they have a positive self-image.  One then feels good about themselves and they are not emotionally dependent on other people.

Therefore, while they will appreciate hearing good things from other people, it is not going to be something that they desperately need. Ultimately, one is going to have a strong sense of self.

Another Experience

If, on the other hand, one needs a lot of positive feedback from others and they are always sharing things, it can show that they don’t value themselves. Consequently, this is likely to illustrate that they have a negative view of themselves.

Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that one is in touch with how they see themselves, and this is because they could spend most of their life being disconnected from what is taking place within them. The positive feedback that they receive from others will be what allows them to avoid their true feelings.

Insecure

Due to this, one is going to be emotionally dependent on other people, and if they don’t receive positive feedback from others, they could end up feeling down. Receiving positive feedback from others is not going to be something they want; it will be something that they need.

Other people are going to have a lot of power over them, and this is likely to how that they don’t have a strong sense of self. At a deeper level, one may find that they feel worthless.

A Closer Look

When one feels this way, it won’t matter what they look like; the feedback that they receive from others is not going to have a lasting effect on them. What this can show is that they didn’t receive the kind of care that they needed during their early years.
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This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected, and this will have stopped them from being able to develop into a secure human being. The years have then passed but one’s life is still being defined by what took place all those years ago.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist or a healer. This will give them the opportunity to look into what is taking place within them and to heal themselves.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk