When someone has a sense of safety, it will be possible for them to pay attention to what is taking place inside them and to utilise this information. In other words, one will be able to act like an individual.
Ultimately, they will feel comfortable being in their body and safe to exist, which will provide them with firm foundations. These foundations will give them a solid base – a base that will give them the support that they need to express who they are.
This doesn’t mean that they will completely disregard other people’s needs; what it means is that they won’t do what they can to please them. As a result of how they experience life, this might not even be something that crosses their mind.
Paying attention to their own needs is what will allow them to lead a fulfilling life, and this is going to be what is normal. Along with this, they probably won’t expect other people to please them either.
How it Should Be
If one wasn’t an individual who has their own needs, there would be no need for them to listen to themselves. The only thing that they would need to do would be to go along with what other people wanted.
By being an extension of others, other people would know exactly what they need and what is right for them. One could then give themselves over to other people, having no need whatsoever to live their own life.
When someone lives like this, there is a strong chance that they will also value themselves. However, while this element will be important, it won’t be as important as having strong foundations.
If a sense of safety relates to the foundations of a house, a sense of self worth could be seen as something that relates to the inside of the house. So, how it looks inside and how comfortable it is to live their.
A key Part
Without doubt, this part of the house is incredibly important; if this part of the house is not in a good way, it will be a challenge for someone to enjoy living in the house. Similarly, if one doesn’t feel good about themselves, it can be hard for them to appreciate the life that they have been given.
Nonetheless, if the foundations of the house are not in place, there will be too much instability for someone to live the house. Likewise, if someone’s foundations are not in a good way, there can be so much chaos inside them that it can be more or less impossible for them to feel good about themselves.
To bring the chakra system into this; their foundations will relate to the red chakra and their self-worth will relate to the yellow chakra. Their red Chakra is right at the bottom of their body, while the yellow charka is where their belly button is.
Just like a house, the first one will need to be running properly or else the rest of them won’t be able to run properly. This might sound a bit woo-woo, but this information is there to aid one in their own development.
A Different Reality
With all this in mind, it is clear that someone is going to suffer if they don’t have a sense of safety. For someone like this, they can spend most of their life doing what they can to please others.
This is going to mean that they will generally ignore their own needs, and they might not even realise that they are doing this. Perhaps they have been this way for most, if not all, of their life.
Deep down, they can believe that pleasing others is the only way for them to survive. This will be a way for them to feel safe and secure and, if they don’t do this, they could end up being all at sea.
What this is likely to show is that, in the place of a sense of safety and security, is a lot of trauma. Not only can all this pain be triggered if they don’t please others, but they can also feel as though they are going to die.
A Closer Look
Being in touch with themselves and expressing who they are should be what feels safe, yet for some reason, they only feel safe when they are pleasing others. It is as though their sense of safety has been externalised, with it being something that is in the hands of others.
What this can illustrate is that their early years were a time when they were abused. This time in their life would have stopped them from being able to develop a sense of safety and it would have loaded them up with trauma.
Thus, instead of receiving what they needed to be able to develop a sense of safety, their whole being would have been traumatised. They would have learnt that the only way for them to feel safe was to please their caregivers.
The people around them were then in control of whether or not they were able to feel safe. Many years will have passed since that time in their life, and they will no longer be a powerless and dependent child, but they will still believe that other people are in control of if they feel safe or not.
It is then going to be essential for them to develop a sense of safety and to no longer place this in the hands of others. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
Dealing with the trauma that is held inside them will be a big part of this. What can also help is for them to spend time in nature and to connect to the earth.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.