In the same way that someone needs to eat in order to function at their best, it could also be said that they need to feel safe, too. The food they eat will give them the energy they need, but if they don’t feel safe enough to face the world, it won’t matter.
Taking this into account, the food that one eats can be seen as the fuel that goes into a car, and the engine of the car can be seen as one’s body. If the engine doesn’t want to run, as in their body doesn’t want to go anywhere, it won’t matter how much fuel is in the tank, or what they have eaten.
Now, this is not to say that the only way that someone can live a fulfilling live is if they always feel safe. It could be said that it will be practically impossible for someone to experience life in this way.
For example, if one was to try something new, it can be normal for them to experience a sense of discomfort. What they are doing is not going to be seen as familiar by their mind, so this will cause them to experience anxiety and even a fear.
A Short-Term Experience
Their mind will get used to what they are doing, though, and this is likely to mean that they will soon settle down. Once they have settled down, they could think about doing something else that will test them.
And as this is not something that they experience all the time, this can be something that they find enjoyable. If, on the other hand, this was how they felt more or less all the time, this wouldn’t be the case.
One might then have the need to do everything they can to try to make sure that they don’t feel any worse. Ultimately, they are going to be in enough pain as it is without adding any more.
To the outside observer, it could seem as though they like to play it safe and do everything they can to make sure they don’t feel uncomfortable. In their eyes, one could come across as someone who lacks courage.
Way off the Mark
However, if someone like this was to take the time to get to know them, they would soon find out that there is a lot more to it. For this to take place, they would have to put themselves in one’s shoes.
Their mind would then need to be put to one side and they would need to reach out with their heart. Through doing this, they would gradually see that one has enough fear and anxiety within them; what they don’t need is any more.
All Too Familiar
Additionally, they could have moments when they are filled with terror, and this could mean that they find it hard to stay in their body. It is then not going to be uncommon for them to go up into their head or to dissociate.
This is also going to mean that their body will freeze, make them want to run away, and even cause them to feel as though they need to defend themselves from time to time. So, even though they are not going to be able to embrace life, they are still going to use a lot of energy.
Doing what they can to make sure that they are not seen by others is then going to be the key. Being themselves and expressing who they are is going to be too much of a risk; it will be far safer for them to hide.
One is then going to physically hide or they will hide in plain sight. The fear within them is not going to want them to expand in any way; doing so will be seen as something that would end their life.
Hell on Earth
When someone experiences life in this way, they could be in an abusive relationship, or they could live in an environment that isn’t safe. The kind of relationship that they have with one person or what takes place in one environment is then going to define how they perceive the rest of the world.
The ideal would then be for one to pay attention to what is going on within them and then to take action. Leaving the relationship or moving somewhere else would be the first thing that they could do, and they would have trauma to resolve.
But while one can experience life in this way due to what is taking place externally, it can primarily be the result of what they are projecting onto the world. What this will show is that one is carrying trauma and this is why they find it hard to feel safe.
One is then not going to need to be in situation where their life is at risk, in order to feel as though it is at risk. What this then means is that one can be in an environment that is completely safe and they can still feel unsafe.
The Power of the Mind
The fear, anxiety and even terror within them will make them feel as though they are unsafe and this will stop them from being able to be present. Along with this, their mind will filter everything through a certain lens.
This leans will cause one to interpret everything through a lens of fear, thereby causing them to see danger where it doesn’t exist. What can make it just about impossible for them to realise what is going on is if they have experienced life in this way for as long as they can remember.
If they were able to see that the only reason why they experience life in this way is because of how they feel on the inside and how their mind interprets the world, it would allow them to see that there is another way. This could show that one experienced trauma during the beginning of their life.
Perhaps they were abused and/or neglected by their caregiver. These experiences would then have had a big effect on their mind and body, and defined what they believed about themselves and the world.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.