If one had a hole in their drive that they wanted to fill, they could end up making a load of concrete. Through doing this, there would be no gaps and the hole would completely disappear.
The alternative would be for one to find a few bricks and to try to fill the hole in that way. And while this would fill the hole in, it wouldn’t completely fill it like concrete would.
A Good Thing
In this case, it could be said that concrete is the perfect substance for the job, and that if it wasn’t like this; it would have no use whatsoever. However, if one was on a boat and it started to leak, there would be no reason for them to use concrete.
In this case, it would be necessary for one to use something that will seal the hole straight away. Not only would the concrete go through the hole; it would also take too long to set.
In the same way concrete can be used by someone to fill any hole in, human beings can also go along with what other people want them to do. At the same time, they can also be like bricks, and this means that they won’t be as easy to mould into something.
When it comes to using concrete, it is not going to result in anyone being taken advantage of. Yet when it comes to people who are as flexible as concrete, it can result in them being taken advantage of.
At the same time, when one uses bricks it is also not going to cause anyone to be taken advantage of. And when people are also able to maintain who they are, there can be less chance of them being taken advantage of.
Still, this is not to say that there is anything wrong with people being flexible from time to time, as there may be moments when they need to be this way. This can be something that takes place without them being controlled.
The difference is that when one is able to maintain who they are, they will have the ability to choose if they will go along with what someone else wants them to do. Whereas when one is unable to maintain who they are, this will be something that is out of their control.
As a result of this, their life is going to be radically different, and while this may be how these people have experienced life for as long as they can remember; this might not be the case. If one is able to main who they are, this might not be how their life has always been; but if one is unable to do this, this could be how their life has always been.
Sense of Self
What this comes down to is that some people have a sense of self and other people don’t, and this is typically something that one will developed during their childhood years. So if one hasn’t developed a sense of self, it is likely to be due to what took place when they were younger.
When one has a sense of self, it is going to mean that they have boundaries, and this will allow them to have their own life. But if they didn’t have them, it would be more or less impossible for them to have their own life.
On one hand, they will allow one to feel safe in their body, and on the other hand, they will allow them to have their own views on life. Through feeling safe, one will be able to express themselves, as well as have the ability to say no.
And by having their own views, it is going to mean that one doesn’t simply follow other people; they are able come to their own conclusions. Also, one will have a clear idea of what they value and what they don’t.
When one hasn’t developed boundaries, it can be normal for them to please others, and they are going to find it hard to say no. In fact, they might be used to saying yes all the time, and this is going to make their life harder than it needs to be.
And even if they think that they have developed their own views, they might be views that they have picked up from others. Their values might also be second hand, and this means that they might not be in their best interests.
The Leader and the Follower
One way of looking at this would be to say that the first person will be a leader and the second person will be a follower. However, just because someone hasn’t developed boundaries and is out of touch with themselves, it doesn’t mean that they will come across as a follower.
They could be in a position where they try to tell other people how to live their life, and this can be a way for them to experience self-control. And as they haven’t developed boundaries, they might to realise when they are violating other people’s personal space.
What this shows is how important it is for one to have strong connection to themselves when it comes to living a fulfilling life. And not only is this something that will benefit individuals, it will also benefit countries.
This is because when a country is filled with people who have a strong sense of their identity; it will be a lot harder for them to be controlled. But without it, it will be relatively easy for people to be manipulated by external forces.
If one is in a position where they haven’t got a strong sense of self and they want this to change, it will be important for them to reach out for external support. This can be provided by a therapist and/or a support group.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.