In recent history, the general attitude towards sex has changed and it has almost gone from one extreme to the other. So a more liberal approach has appeared and this is often how life works. This can be seen at a more personal level and further out, to include what is happening in the world.
Here, one can stop themselves from engaging in something and after a short time, go to the other extreme. This can occur over a period of weeks, months or even years in one’s personal life for instance. And when it applies to a socially supported behaviour, it can require many generations to alter.
One can be brought into a family that allows certain things and disallows others and the same goes for the society that they live in. it is then fairly inevitable that some parts of their nature will be expressed and others that are repressed.
A brief look at human history will show that this has more or less always happened and still happenes to this day. And what was denied at one point in time will often be embraced in another.
There was a time when sex was seen by many as something people did when they were married and not before; and this was very much influenced by religion. It took place when people wanted children and there was no other purpose for it.
This naturally created a lot of shame and guilt around sex and removed a lot of pleasure from it in the process. During the 60’s, the hippie movement really shook everything up in regards to relationships and sex. It is often said that this was the time when sex become more than an act one simply engaged in to have children.
So, many people were liberated around this time and were able to enjoy sex and to really embrace the fact that its purpose consists of more than just having children. A lot of repression no longer had to take place and peoples wellbeing increased as a result.
And not just because they were having more sex, but due to them no longer having to deny their body’s natural urges. To deny what the body needs is going to create more problems; frustration and a sense of being disconnected can arise. Repression is not healthy long term solution.
The Modern Day
From this point onwards, the purpose of sex has generally changed. And one consequence of that is that sex has lost a lot of its meaning. For some people it is still seen as sacred and something that must be respected. And for others, it is simply another way to feel good.
Although sex has a biological element to it, it can also have an emotional reason as well. And like any other form of escape that one can engage in; sex can end up being used for the same purpose.
So while the carefree approach towards sex in today’s world can be seen as sign of growth and individual freedom, it is also a consequence of people having emotional challenges.
One’s body and another person’s body, then becomes another way for one to regulate their own emotions. And when this emotional pain gets really bad, it can cause ones sexual drive to rise. This could be interpreted to mean that one has a high sex drive, when in reality; it is simply a conditioned reflex to cover up how they are truly feeling.
And as emotions are generally ignored and not dealt with in today’s world, it is not much of surprise to see that so much of what is seen in society has become sexualized in one way or another.
When one is in pain, their attention is often brought down to this area of their body and their mind or heart could end up being overlooked. One is then no longer a whole human being; they are fractured.
To be human means that emotions are part of life and that means everyone experiences the so called ‘good’ and ‘bad’ emotions. When they are avoided, they can build up and cause one to act in ways that are impulsive and compulsive; one is then enslaved to them.
So if one was to have sex to regulate how they feel on the odd occasion or during a time in their life that was extremely challenging for example, the consequences may well be minimal. If one has had a hard day at work or something similar and has sex with their partner to de-stress, it would be classed as normal and healthy.
On the other hand, if one has become what is described as a ‘sex addict’ or constantly has sex to avoid how they are feeling, then some kind of assistance may be required.
This could be pain that has come about through a loss in one’s life or through what has been trapped in one’s body since they were younger. And while time has passed, their body is still holding on to the original pain.
Sex is allowing one to gain short term relief, but what it is not doing is dealing with the pain. Perhaps one has managed to stop this from affecting other areas of their life, or it could be harming all areas.
One could seek the assistance of a therapist of healer to release their trapped feeling and emotions. Here, one will get in touch with them and gradually release them.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.