While some things have stayed the same over the years, there are other things that have radically changed. For instance, it could be said that today’s world is far more permissive than it used to be.
And this can be seen with how children are raised and how sex is generally viewed. It wasn’t long ago that parents were extremely strict and sex was often seen, by many, as nothing more than a means to an end.
This is not to say that all children are now allowed to do what they want, but the children of today often have far more control than they would if they were born a few decades ago. There are still children who are being brought up in the same way and what was acceptable back then, might now been seen as abuse.
As for sex, this was often something that took place when people were married and if they wanted children. Sex was seen as scared and even taboo and it wasn’t something that people would engage in whenever they felt like it. This is not to say that this outlook no longer exists though; as it is still going to be true for some people.
From One Extreme To Another
What this shows is how society has gone from one extreme to the other and as time passes, it might balance out. The older generation are often amazed at how children and young adults behave. Due to how strict parents were before, a lot of today’s behaviour would not have been seen.
In the UK for instance, there is often talk about young men having to go into the army for a number years. This is seen as a way for them to learn respect, discipline and to give them some kind of guidance, amongst other things.
And as sex is no longer viewed in the same way as it was before and is more accepted, it has played a part in how people dress. Less is often more in today’s world and this relates to one wearing less and not revealing less.
Women are often seen wearing very little, were as before, women would dress modestly and very little would be on show. One outlook would be that women show too much and that before, they had far more class and self respect.
It could also be said that women were oppressed before and that it was not possible for them to express themselves like they can in today’s world. And that, revealing more is a way for them to express who they are and to exercise their free will.
If a woman was asked, she could say that it is her body and that, she is entitled to do whatever she wants with it. Through wearing less, there is the chance that it will allow a woman to receive certain responses from men and even from other women.
And though receiving those responses, it may enable her to feel better about herself and to experience more control. So her self esteem is going to be improved, but that doesn’t mean her self-worth will alter though. And this is because the responses she attains will be for what she looks like and not for who she is as a person.
Her self esteem will remain high as long as she is getting the kinds of responses she wants from others but if they no longer appear, her self esteem could disappear. This is why it will be important for her to develop or realise her self-worth; this is not based on external reposes or what she does – it’s for who she is.
A Closer Look
It could be said that the more dependent a women is on the approval of others, the less she will wear and the more sexual she will be. And as these things have become so common, they are often seen as normal.
On one hand, there is incredible pressure on people to ‘look good’ and this is often more important than what is on the inside. And on the other hand, it shines the light on modern day child development and how some people were not loved and accepted for who they are when they were younger. This then causes one to grow up and look towards other people to give them what their caregivers didn’t or couldn’t give them.
So, while it is up to a woman to decide what she wants to wear and how she wants to behave, there are still going to be consequences. As has been mentioned above, when a woman wears less and acts sexual there is a greater chance that she will be validated by the people around her and this will change how she feels.
This could be seen as a positive and all the time a woman gets positive feedback from others, she is not going to change how she dresses or how she behaves. However, while there is the chance that other men will give her the kind of responses she wants, there is also the chance that they could go too far and act destructively.
The Other Side
Here, a man could come on too strong and act as if he is entitled to do whatever he wants do to. This could lead to a woman being touched inappropriately on one hand, to something far more severe on the other.
What is clear here is that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable and yet, if a woman wears very little or behaves in a sexual way, she is going to increase her chances of experiencing this kind of behaviour.
When a man sees a woman that is wearing very little or who behaves in a sexualised way, there is the chance that he will want more. But while a woman may look and act as though she wants more, this is not always the case.
A man can then expect to have his needs met by the woman and can then soon realise that this is not going to happen. It is like they have been promised something and then it has been taken away.
And as their buttons have been pressed and that’s as far as it is going to go, it is going to feel as though they have been violated. This will then lead to anger and as this increases, there will be aggression.
If this aggression is not aimed at a woman, it might end up being taken out on another man. It won’t lead to the fulfilment of their needs, but it will allow them to release some of the energy that has built up.
Now, it could be said that men are responsible for how they feel and that they need to respect a woman’s boundaries. And while this can’t be denied, if a man buttons are pressed and their body is ready to go, there is the chance that it will lead to a certain outcome.
A woman has every right to dress how she wants and to act how she wants, but what she also has to bear in mind is that there will be consequences. Her body has power and this power has to be respected. In a woman’s mind it might be about getting an ‘ego boost’ but based on how she is coming across, it can mean something completely different.
If a woman was to cut down on her need for approval and increases her emotional awareness, she may find that she no longer needs to wear so little or behave in such a sexualized way.
And for a man who has a tendency to act aggressive around women, it is going to be important for him to develop boundaries and to develop emotional awareness. When it comes to the former or the latter, it might necessary to seek the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.