Whilst there are people in the world who think about what it must be like to have a sibling, there are others who know exactly what it is like. However, even if someone does have at least one sibling, it doesn’t mean that they are best friends.
They may talk to their sibling from time to time, but that could be about as far as it goes. Perhaps their sibling lives within walking distance or maybe they live on the other side of the planet.
A Weak Connection
Therefore, if one is going through a stressful time, they might not even let this person know. This doesn’t mean that part of them will want to reach out towards them and another part wont, as they might not even think about them.
Likewise, their sibling might not even reach out to them if they are going through a tough time. When they do get together, it could end up being a very surface level interaction.
A Strange Scenario
Two people who spent years together will then be acting as though they barely know each other. Thus, even though they spent many years in each other’s company, it will be as if this time had very little, if any, effect on them.
There could be people in both of their lives who find it hard to comprehend why they aren’t closer to their sibling. Yet, even if they were to talk about this, it doesn’t mean that anything would change.
A Tense Connection
Conversely, one might not even talk to their sibling from time to time, with them preferring to keep their distance from them altogether. The reason for this could be that whenever they do spend time with them, it could get out of hand.
Practically as soon as they get together, they could have an argument, and this could be followed by another. It is then going to be too draining for them to spend time with their sibling.
An Odd Outcome
Once again, here will be two people who act like adversaries even though they will have most likely spent years living under the same roof. The time that they spent together during this time should have created a strong bond between them.
One might be happy to keep their distance and have no interest in resolving the tension that is between them, or they might wish that things were different. Still, no matter what their thoughts are, there is going to be no magic wand that will make everything better.
If someone had a good connection with their sibling and they were to come into contact with someone who doesn’t, they could say that they just need to put their differences aside and to make up. Based on what this person has said, it will be as though they are arguing over something that is fairly trivial.
If these two people were to get together and to give each other a big hug, everything would be fine. Something like this may get the ball rolling and be something that will allow them to gradually resolve the tension that is within them; then again, it might not do anything.
Back to Reality
What needs to be taken into consideration is that just because two siblings grew up together, it doesn’t mean that they grew up in a very harmonious household. For example, this could have been a time when they were pitted against each other.
The other sibling was then seen as an intruder, someone who they had to outdo in order to win their parents love. This would have made it hard for them to see each other in a positive light.
At the same time, the tension that exists between them may have been created before they were able to compete with each other. One of them may have been on this planet for at least a year before the other was born and they may have been cast aside after their sibling was born.
Or, even if they were not treated in this way, it could have still caused them to feel rejected by their caregivers. It would have been as if they were number one, only to be displaced by someone else.
A Massive Impact
The sibling who came after the other is then going to be seen as the enemy, even though they played no part in what took place. Due to how young this sibling was when their sibling was born, they might not even be aware of how they felt during this stage of their life.
But while their conscious mind might have no recollection of what took place, how they responded all those years ago will still define how they perceive their sibling. Their mind will have forgotten, yet their body will remember.
What happened will be in the past, that much is clear, but what won’t be in the past is the pain that they experienced at this stage of their life. Working through this pain may allow someone to get closer to their sibling or it may just make it easier for them to accept what their relationship is like at this point in time.
Ultimately, one can only change themselves; they can’t make their sibling change. When it comes to working through their pain, the assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.