Nowadays, it is not uncommon for someone to spend more time speaking to people online than they do in the real world. And when one uses social media, they are going to be socialising online.
The New Way
One might even believe that they don’t need to spend much time talking to people in the real world, and this is because they may believe that talking to people online is just the same. This is then going to be similar to how there would have been a time when human beings had to go by boat to other countries and now they can just fly.
And, thanks to the devices that are available, one can use social media no matter where they are. Perhaps if it wasn’t for these devices, social media wouldn’t be half as popular as it is today.
However, even if one does spent a lot of time on social media, it doesn’t mean that they won’t spend much time around others. One could spend about as much time talking to people offline as they do online.
In fact, one could even spend a lot of time on their Smartphone when they are around other people. This is then not just something that they use; it can be as if it is another part of their body.
A Number of Options
There are, of course, a number of things that one can do when they use social media. One can speak to their ‘friends’ directly, or they can share something on their wall or comment on what someone else has shared.
When they share something on their wall, it could relate to them personally or it might not have anything to do with them. If it does relate to them, it could mean that they have shared a picture of themselves; whereas if it doesn’t, it could mean that they have shared a funny video.
There are likely to be a number of things that will define how many people will respond to what they share and what kind of responses they will receive. One of the things that can play a part is what they look like.
What this means is that if they are physically attractive, they are far more likely to receive positive feedback for sharing a picture of themselves. And if they are an attractive woman, it can be even easier.
One could share pictures of their face and they could share images of their body. If they were to share a picture of their body, it could be said that they are objectifying themselves.
But as they are the ones who are doing this, they are not going to have a problem with it. Some people might find it hard to understand why a woman would objectify herself online; especially as so many women have been against the objectification of women’s bodies in magazines and papers, for instance.
A Closer Look
It might then be more accurate to say that some women don’t have an issue with this and some do. At the same time, there are going to be women who do it even though they say that they are against it.
When this happens, a woman is saying one thing and doing the complete opposite. What this could then show is that her emotional needs end up overriding what is taking place in her mind, and this then causes her to do the very thing that she says is against.
This could also show that she hasn’t really thought about what she believes, and there is then no reason for her to stand by it. Yet, even if she does believe this, her emotional needs could still take over.
And what will also play a part in how many people respond to what they share is the amount of ‘friends’ that they have. Therefore, the more ‘friends’ they have the more comments and ‘likes’ they are likely to receive.
A Big Difference
While there are going to be some people who need to a lot of attention when they use social media, there are going to be others who don’t. This is not to say that everyone fits into two groups, though.
When one does need a lot of attention, they could end up changing their profile picture more or less every day. There will then be the pictures and videos that they upload on a regular basis.
It would be easy to say that this shows that they are an attention seeker, and that they find it hard to feel good about themselves unless they are receiving positive feedback from others. If this is the case, it could show that they didn’t receive the right care when they were growing up.
On the other hand, what it could show is that their emotional needs are not being met in the real world. This is something that can also apply to the people who don’t share half as much on social media.
And even if one does have people in their life, it doesn’t mean that these relationships will allow them to meet their needs. The reason for this is that they might only share parts of themselves with these people.
So, they may talk about what they have done and go to different places with them, but that could be as far as it goes. What is taking place at a deeper level and how they feel is going to be overlooked.
A Poor Substitute
Consequently, one is going to be looking for people online to give them what they are not receiving in the real world. In many ways, this is comparable to one going online when they feel hungry; if this was to take place they wouldn’t last for very long.
The trouble is that when one goes online in order to fulfil their emotional needs, they are likely to slightly better. And as this does have a positive effect on them, it can stop them from being able to realise that their life would be far better if they actually had fulfilling relationships.
As good as social media is, it can’t replace real human interaction; in the same way that a supplement cant replace real food. One may find that they have always had superficial relationships with others.
If this is the case, and they want to change their life, they could read books about communication and relationships. Finding a mentor or a coach might also help.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.