When someone is in touch with their true-self, it is likely to mean that they are in touch with their true needs and feelings, among others things. These inner aspects will then go onto shape their behaviour, and the idea people have of them can then match up with who they are.
However, this can all depend on how close one is to someone, and this is because it is human nature to project onto others. Therefore, the closer one is to someone, the greater chance the other person has of coming into contact with one’s true-self.
Although one’s life will be an expression of their true-self, it doesn’t mean they will express their true-self in each moment of their life. This might sound like a contradiction, but what it comes down to is that it won’t always be possible for one to express their true-self in each moment.
For example, there can be times when it won’t be appropriate for their behaviour to be influenced by how they feel, and this could be because they are in a business environment. It could also be a sign that they are in a situation where they don’t feel safe, and it might then be important for them to act in a way that will ensure their safety.
It Can Change
What one sees as their true-self at one point in time can change at another point in time, and this comes down to the fact that it is not something that is set in stone. For instance, if one was to have children, there is a strong chance that their priorities would change, and this would then mean that their needs would also change.
Yet, without one even needing to have children, their needs can change as they grow as a human being. But even if one doesn’t make an effort to grow and to develop themselves, their values can end up changing as a result of the changes they experience at different periods of their life.
In this case, it doesn’t matter whether one is someone who wants to grow or whether they are someone who sits back and goes with the flow of life; the results will still be the same. This is not to say that one won’t try to hold onto the person that they once were though.
When this happens, they are going to end up identifying with what could now be classed as their ‘false-self’. This could be because they received a certain amount of approval for expressing themselves in this way, and this could then make it harder for them to let go of the person they used to be.
An Authentic Human
When one is not only in touch with their true-self, but also expresses this part of themselves, it is going to allow them to be an authentic human being. And the only way for them to be authentic is for them to be in tune with themselves; there is no other way this can take place.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that it’s like one writing something down and not only reading it out in their head, but also reading it out to others. And when they read it out, the people around them will believe that they are the ones who have written it.
The false-self is then the equivalent of one not only writing down what someone else wants them to write and then reading it out in their head, but also reading these words out to others. And when they read it out, the people around them will also believe that they are the ones who have written it.
When it comes to everyday life, people can come to believe that how someone comes across is who they are, and this is something one can also believe. As a result of this, not only can other people be deceived, one can also deceive themselves
There are at least two reasons why one would be out of touch with their true true-self, and the first one is because of what their childhood was like and the second one is because of the society they live in. Through being made into the person their caregivers and the people around them wanted them to be and through being conditioned by their society, one can end up being disconnected from themselves.
There is another factor that can also cause one to develop a false-self, and one doesn’t even need to be around others for this to take place. The only thing they need to do is to use social media on their smart phone or on their computer.
Even if one is in touch with who they are, this can soon change after they have used social media for a certain period of time. Therefore, just as one can create image that doesn’t match up with who they are in the real world; they can also create an image that doesn’t match up with who they are when they are online.
Now, if the image that one presents in the real world matches up with who they are, they might not have the need to create a false-self online, and when the image they present online matches up with who they are, they won’t need to create a false-self either. Yet, out of one’s need to gain approval from others, they can end up creating an image that doesn’t match up with who they are.
It won’t just stop there though, and this is because one can also feel the need to maintain this image in the real world. But while it is relatively easy to maintain a false image online, it is a lot harder to maintain this image in the real world.
On one side, this image will allow one to receive a certain amount of approval, and on the other side, it can also set them up to not only be disconnected from themselves, they can also feel disconnected from others. This is because other people are not going to know who they really are; they are only going to know about the false–self that they have created.
It could be said that the reason one would end up creating a false-self on social media is because they were already out of touch with themselves, and this could be the case. However, there is also the chance that one was going through a challenging time in their life, and this then set them up to lose touch with themselves.
If one is in touch with their true-self, it could be said that they are going to be less likely to create an image on social media that doesn’t match up with who they are. Through being in touch with themselves and accepting who they are, they won’t need to receive approval from their ‘friends’.
Therefore, if one is out of touch with themselves, or if they just need approval from others, it may be important for them to limit the amount of time they spend media. During this time, they can start to develop themselves, and this can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.