Social Media: Can Someone Use Social Media To Try To Be Loved If They Experienced Early Deprivation?17/12/2023
What can be normal is for someone to spend a fair amount of time using one or several social media sites. This can be somewhere they primarily browse and don’t share a great deal about themselves.
Then again, they could spend a lot of time sharing parts of their own life and pictures of themselves. These sites are then going to be a big part of their life, as opposed to just another part of it. No Different They might not be the only ones in their life who behave in this way, though, as a few of their friends could be in the same position. This can help to normalise their behaviour, with there being no reason for them to question what they are doing. But, even if they are not close to anyone who is in this position, they are still going to come across numerous people online who are behaving in the same way. Therefore, there is not going to be anything strange about their behaviour. Inner State Now, once they have shared something, they could soon receive ‘likes’ and comments. Thanks to this, they could end up feeling good about themselves and having positive thoughts. This could be an experience that they are used to, with them having received responses like this for quite some time. What takes place online, then, is going to have a big impact on how they feel about and see themselves. A Dip Thus, if they were to take a break from social media, they might soon find that they start to feel low and down. This can show that they don’t have any close friends or it might not be this black and white. Nonetheless, there is a chance that they haven’t taken a break from social media and this might not be on their mind either. This will illustrate how dependent their emotional state is on these sites. Another Approach However, even if they haven’t taken a break, they might still have had moments when they haven’t been able to achieve their desired outcome. During these moments, they might not have received as many likes as they expected, for instance. This may have caused them to share something else before long and to try to achieve a different outcome. At times, this may have worked and at others, it might not have. A Tough Time If they have shared something that hasn’t allowed them to receive the amount of ‘likes’ that they wanted and what they shared after didn’t work either, assuming that this took place, they might have felt very low. It could be as if they fell into a very deep hole. They might have been this way for several hours if not several days and not been able to rise again until they shared something that received a certain amount of responses from others. This would have allowed them to go from one extreme to another. What’s going on? If this was an experience that they started to have on a regular basis, it could be something that would make them look deeper. So, they could wonder why their mental and emotional state is so dependent on the responses that they receive on a screen from strangers. What could enter their mind is that there is something inherently wrong with them and they could feel bad and ashamed. Yet, if they do come to this conclusion, it doesn’t mean that it is the truth. A Closer Look Instead, this could show that their early years were not very nurturing, with this being a time when they were deprived of the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. Of course, this stage of their life will be over, but, if they missed out on the love that they needed, they won’t have truly moved on. At a deeper level, a big part of them will still be trying to receive the love that they missed out on. To this part of them, social media will be an extension of themselves and the people who use social media will represent their parents. A Continuation Most likely, their early years were a time when they typically only received attention, acceptance, and approval when they behaved in a certain way. A time when they needed to be loved for who they were was then a time when they had to jump through endless hoops to receive a few crumbs. So, as they will carry several unmet development needs and won’t have a felt sense of worth or lovability, they will, once again, struggle to receive the attention, acceptance, and approval that they missed out on. Yet, as this stage of their life is over, not to mention that other people are not their parents, it will be too late for them to meet these needs. Avoidance Receiving attention from strangers will allow them to repress and suppress how they feel but it won’t remove these feelings. This is why it doesn’t matter how many ‘likes’ and comments they receive; their emptiness won’t be filled. For them to no longer be mentally and emotionally dependent on the responses that they receive online, they are likely to have pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience, and persistence. Awareness If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 27 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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