When someone shares something online, they can end up receiving a fair amount of attention, and this can allow them to feel good about themselves. Even so, what happens online might only be a small part of their life.
Therefore, they won’t be completely dependent on this attention, meaning it won’t be the end of the world if they don’t always get it or if they don’t receive a certain amount. What this can then show is that they have relationships with people in the real word that are deeply fulfilling.
When it comes to the attention they receive online, it will be a one way process; however, when it comes to their real relationships, it will be a two way process. One will be there for a friend, for instance, and their friend will be there for them.
The kind of attention that they receive from a real person is likely to be far more fulfilling than the attention they receive from one or even a hundred people online. This is, ultimately, because they will have real human contact.
In the same way that real food can’t be replaced by basic supplements; real relationships can’t be replaced by online relationships. Being around real people will help in the regulation of their nervous system, allowing their whole being to feel more at peace.
What this will then do is have a positive effect on their immune system, which will have a positive effect on their health and wellbeing. There will be what takes place when they are in another person’s presence, and, there will be how they feel for a little while once they have parted ways.
A Number of Needs
If one only had the need for attention and didn’t need anything else, they wouldn’t need to have real relationships. This comes down to the fact that they are an interdependent human being, whose sense of themselves depends on the interactions that they have with others.
So, in the same way that their body needs food in order to exist, their sense of self needs other people in order to exist. In their real relationships, they will be able to talk about what they have been doing, how they feel, and even share physical touch.
And, one of the main reasons why they are able to have these kinds of relationships will be due to the fact that this is what feels comfortable. Being emotionally vulnerable and opening up to real people is not going to be a problem.
What is also going to help is that while they will believe that their needs are important, they are not going to be totally consumed by them. This is what will allow them to reach out to others.
There are then going to be others that have traded in most of their two-way relationships for the one-way relationships that they have online. That is, of course, if they can really be called relationships.
They may have a few people in their life that they experience real intimacy with, relationships that are based on both give and take. Where it won’t just be about giving each other attention – it will also be about fully showing up and being present.
An Empty Existence
Then again, they might not, and someone like this might only have relationships with others that are very shallow. Ergo, they might talk about surface level things, and even share their body with certain people, but that might be as far as it goes.
It will be as if they are living on food that has very little, if any, nutritional value, and this is going to cause a number of their needs to go unmet. But, the pain that they experience through living in this way could generally be kept at bay by all the attention that they receive online.
Out of Touch
There is the chance that they don’t have a strong connection with their emotional needs, and this may mean that they have objectified themselves. They are then not in integrated human being, but a divided human being who is using themselves to fulfil their basic needs.
These needs could be seen as the needs of their ego, as opposed to the needs of their heart. And while social media does allow them to receive attention, in the form of ‘likes’ and comments, the main thing it does is allow them to take care of their dopamine addiction.
A Closer Look
While there can be people who have traded in real relationships for attention, there can be others who have never had real relationships to begin with. When it comes to the former, someone may have been through a bad break up, causing them to shut down emotionally and to settle for hits of dopamine instead of connecting deeply with real human beings.
On the other hand, when it comes to the people who have never experienced deeper connections with others, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time when they had to disconnect from themselves to survive.
Receiving attention from a distance and not getting too close to anyone is then going to be what feels safe. Deep down, they can believe that they are inherently flawed and that they would be rejected if they revealed their true-self.
The image that they present to the world can be of someone who is confident, and they might even be aesthetically pleasing, but this will mask what is really going on for them. Their happy face or perfect complexion will be there to make sure that people don’t realise what is actually going on, as this would probably trigger what is taking place deep within them and cause them to be overwhelmed.
It could be said that just about every human being on the planet has the need to experience a deep connection with their fellow human beings and the earth, and this is because they are part of everything - separation is simply a product of the mind. Thus, if this connection is broken, it is naturally going to lead to pain and suffering.
If someone finds it hard to connect to their fellow human beings and nature, it is likely to show that they find it hard to connect with themselves. The reason for this is that the relationship that someone has with themselves is what typically defines the relationship they will have with everything else.
What will most likely make it hard for them to connect with their body is trauma, and this can be the result of what they have been through as an adult and what took place during their early years, along with what has been passed down to them from their ancestors. If someone wants to develop a deeper connection to themselves and life, they may need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.