I recently heard something that made me think about how destructive positive thinking can be. Thanks, in part, due to the self-development world, so many people believe that they need to have positive thoughts all the time.
And, if they don’t, something bad will happen; with negative thoughts being seen as the reason why bad things have happened in their life. It is then not going to be much of a surprise for someone like this to become obsessed with what is taking place in their head.
Instead of being able to be in the moment, they will be caught up with whether or not they are having the right thoughts. This can not only create a lot of anxiety, it can also cause them to feel guilty whenever they slip up.
Through having the need to be positive all the time, one can end up experiencing more negativity than they have before. I have written a number of articles over the years that go into the ‘negative’ side of positive thinking.
The Main Point
But, although what I heard did make me think about how negative positive thinking can be, this wasn’t the main thing that crossed my mind. What crossed my mind was how positive thinking was one of the things that can stop someone from falling right down.
This can sound like as good thing though, as falling right down and hitting rock bottom can appear to be something that needs to be avoided at all coasts. After all, life is all about feeling good and rising to the top, right!?
One way to understand how falling down can be positive is to think about how trees often need to be cut back in order to grow in the right way. If certain braches were allowed to grow and were not dealt with, it would stop a tree from being able to grow big and strong.
The reason for this is that the nutrients would end up being sent to so many different braches instead of the main trunk. In the same way, if someone is not knocked down to the ground and they try to carry on as they are, it too can stop them from being able to reach their potential.
When it comes to a human being, it won’t be that the nutrients are being directed to the wrong body parts; it will be that energy is being directed to parts of their life and even an identity that no longer serve them. Yet, thanks to their need to stay positive and/or taking things that will stop them from falling right down emotionally, it will keep the inauthentic life that they are living alive.
In the same way that scaffolding will stop a rotten building from falling down, trying to stay positive, running from one empty relationship to another, drinking, taking drugs, having casual sex and/or a host of other things will stop them from crashing down. However, although their mind will do everything it can to stop this from happening; this could be exactly what they need to transform their life – to go from an average existence, to a great existence and to fully embrace who they are.
When someone completely falls down it can feel as though they are going through hell, and they might wonder if they will ever rise up again. This is likely to show that they are in a lot of emotional pain, pain that has probably been locked within them since their early years.
The good thing is that when they are down and are no longer resisting how they feel, it will give them the opportunity to gradually create a life and an identity that reflect who they are. But, before this takes place, they will most likely have a lot of baggage to deal with.
A Number of Years Ago
This is something that I went through in the beginning of 2013, after I have tried to keep it all together for so long. My mother had a stroke in 2010 and my father passed away in 2011, and both of these things gave me a big knock but I did everything I could to keep my emotions at bay, allowing me to keep myself together.
The following year I lost my grandfather and this gave me another knock, and it became even harder to keep myself together. It was when a relationship came to an end in the beginning of 2013 that I ended up falling apart.
The work that I had done up until that point had simply decorated the false-self that I had formed; it hadn’t allowed me to get in touch with my true essence. Still, I was ready to go deeper at that stage and what I had learnt prepared me for what I had to go through.
There were moments when I wondered if I would ever be able to function again, let alone rise up. The false-self that had been in place since I was a child had cracked open and I was no longer willing to play the same roles.
Patience and Persistence
It was clear that I had to hang in there and to keep going no matter what - there was no alternative. I believed that there had to be a way for me to get myself out of the hole that I was in.
There were ups and there were downs but I kept going, and this meant that I gradually came across the information and support that I needed. This time in my life did supply me with a lot of insights, but that doesn’t mean that I would want to go through it all again.
I want to be clear, though, that this doesn’t mean that I am now living the perfect life. But what it does mean is that I have come a long way and I now know what it feels like to experience inner peace.
So, if you have hit rock bottom, take a moment to consider that you have what it takes to rise up. The important thing is that you do what you can to surrender to what is going on and to reach out for support if you need it.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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