Stubborn: Is It Good Or Bad To Be Stubborn?

If one was to think about a quality that is generally seen in a negative light, the word ‘stubborn may come to mind. This could be a word that one uses on a regular basis and/or it could be something they are used to hearing from other people.

There is also the chance that this is not only a word that one regularly uses to describe others, it could also be a word that other people regularly use to describe them. In this case, the perception one has of other people matches up with the perception other people have of them.

Projection

When one finds another person’s behaviour irritating, it could be because it reminds them of something they have denied with themselves. This will mean that one has disconnected from their own feelings and has ended up projecting those feelings onto someone else.

If one was to get in touch with what is taking place within them and to work through their emotions, they would start to see things differently. What used to cause a reaction in them might no longer affect them.

Today’s World

However, while one could look at why they feel the way they do when it comes to people who are stubborn; there is a strong chance that this won’t happen. This is partly due to the fact that people are not encouraged to look within in today’s world.

As a result of this, one is likely to call someone stubborn and that’s about as far as it goes. The other person could dismiss what they hear or they may feel as though they are in the wrong.

Resistance

If one resists what they hear, it could cause the other person to say that they are in denial. Their response is then seen as another example of how they are unwilling to change or to take anything on board.

It won’t matter if one has a reason for being the way they are; as they will be end up being labelled. They may have called them stubborn in the hope that it would cause them to change their behaviour.

Acceptance

However, if one doesn’t resist what they hear and accepts what someone says, they might end up feeling ashamed. The other person’s intention may have been to give them honest feedback or there may have had another agenda.

Yet, just because one feels as though they are in the wrong, it doesn’t mean they are. What it could mean is that one values the opinions of others more than they value their own.

Stuck

Now, if one’s life or an area of their life is not going as they want it to go and one is called stubborn, it might be an accurate assessment. The fact that they are unwilling to change is having a negative effect on their life and unless they do something else, their life won’t change.

One is then holding on when they should be letting go and while one might not be able to see this, the people around them can. In this instance, the best thing for them to do would be to listen to the feedback they are receiving.

Another Angle

However, there is going to be a difference when what one is doing is having the right effect on their life. In the eyes of others they may be seen as stubborn, but in their mind, they are simply doing what they need to do.

When they are doing what they need to do, it will be important for them to stick to it. To change their behaviour and to go along with what someone else wants could end up having a negative effect on their life.

Neutral

This shows that being called stubborn is not necessarily a bad thing; it could mean that one is committed to something. It can all depend on how one’s behaviour is affecting their life.

Therefore, one will need to take the time to reflect on whether they are being ‘stubborn’ or if they are following their own truth. And if one finds that they are being stubborn, it doesn’t mean they need to beat themselves up.

Self-compassion

When one is able to be supportive towards themselves, it will be easier for them to change their behaviour. This is because change rarely happens overnight and one will need to be able to handle the setbacks.

If one has a setback and ends up putting themselves down, it could cause them to give up. But when they are able to be supportive towards themselves, they won’t feel the need to give up.

Awareness

It might be necessary for one to seek external support if they are having difficulty staying on track. This could be provided by a therapist, healer, support group or some kind of coach.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/