If one wants to find out if another person values themselves, they could take the time to see how well they are doing in life. This could then be a time when one could see how they are doing in their career, for instance, and if they are doing well, it can show that they are in touch with their value.
One may find that this is someone who works for other people, or they might be self-employed. But regardless of the route they have taken, it will have been possible for them to get ahead.
There is the chance that plenty of people know who they are, or they might not be very well known; it could be said that this is likely to depend on what it is that they do. For example, if they build houses, it is highly unlikely that they will be noticed wherever they go.
How this person feels about themselves will then have been what propelled them forward and allowed them to get to where they are today. Therefore, if this wasn’t the case, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to experience life in this way.
Their life would have stayed the way it was, or it might have ended up getting even worse. It would then have been normal for them to go through the motions and to live a life that wasn’t very fulfilling.
What this shows is that while it can be easy to see if someone is successful, it can also be easy to see if they are not. So when someone isn’t successful, they can come across as though they are not very happy.
When they are not at work, they could spend a lot of time doing things to make themselves feel better. Yet, when someone is successful, they are not going to need to run away from their life.
Going In the Right Direction
Along with this, there are going to be people who have just started to work towards their goals. From the outside, it might not look as though they have achieved much, but it might be only a matter of time before they have.
And once again, this is going to show that they value themselves enough to go after what it is that they want to achieve. After all, it’s not as if everything they want will be handed to them on a plate.
It is clear to see how much better someone’s life will be when they value themselves; they will have a life that is worth living, or they will be able to create one. This is then something that is completely black and white.
But while it may seem as though this is how it always works, there are times when it doesn’t work this way. What this means is that someone can end up becoming extremely successful even though they don’t value themselves.
How is This Possible?
When this takes place, it is likely to show that one has disconnected from what is taking place within them. So even though they feel worthless at a deeper level, they may find that they rarely feel worthless.
In order to feel good about themselves, they will have ended up creating a false-self. But while it will stop them from feeling low all the time, it might have caused them to have an inflated sense of themselves.
Plenty of Options
If they do come into contact with how they truly feel, they could end up hitting rock bottom, and they may stay this way for a little while. They may also have a number of different ways to change how they feel.
One could end up drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or they could end up throwing themselves into their work. There are all kinds of ways for someone to run away from themselves in today’s world.
But even if they do disconnect from how they feel, the pain that is within them will drive them forward. One is going to believe that they will be able to change how they feel through achieving things.
The trouble is that no matter what they achieve in the external world, it won’t change how they feel about themselves; the only thing it is going to do is to cover it up. This is also going to stop one from being able to be a human being; they will have to be a human doing.
Their value is going to be based on what they do and not on who they are, and this is why they won’t be able to let go and to relax. Taking action and achieving things will be a way for them to feel better about themselves.
And as they feel worthless, it is not going to be much of a surprise if their relationships are not very fulfilling. They will be wearing a mask, and this is going to stop them from being able to experience intimacy.
A Real Connection
The only way this will change is if one lets go of their false-self and embraces their true needs and feelings. Still, if one was reveal themselves, they are likely to believe that it would cause other people to reject and abandon them.
It is then not as simple as one just opening up and being themselves; they will need to let go of the pain that is within them. As this takes place, they will gradually begin to embrace their inherent value.
When one feels worthless, it can be the result of what took place when they were younger; with this being a time when they were abused and/or neglected. Their whole being would then have been permeated with toxic shame.
If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.