Success: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Associate Being Uncomfortable With Death?8/9/2019
What one may find, if they are into self-development, is that they have been told on a number of occasions how important it is to get out of their comfort zone. Still, even if this is not something that they are into, they may have still heard it.
Perhaps they have heard that their comfort zone is their prison, or that success will happen when they leave their comfort zone, or that their comfort zone will kill them. There are many more but the meaning is the same – one won’t be able to grow and expand unless they are willing to get uncomfortable. Part of Life Whenever they have hard one of these sayings, it might not have had much of an effect on them. The reason for this is that one could see this is something that is pretty obvious, as opposed to something that is a big revelation. They could look back on their life and see how they have only been able to get to where they are by getting uncomfortable. There will most likely have been times when they were slightly uncomfortable and times when they were extremely uncomfortable. A Balanced Outlook What is clear, then, is that getting uncomfortable is not going to be seen as something negative. They might believe that no matter what takes place, they will be able to handle it. Experiencing anxiety and even fear when they do something new or different is not going to be seen as a sign that something is wrong; it will be seen as a sign that they are actually living life. They will also know that what is conformable at one point in time will most likely feel comfortable at another. Surrendering Therefore, instead of trying to stop themselves from getting uncomfortable when they do something new or different, they will do what they can to simply embrace whatever happens. Through being able to do this, it will be a lot easier for them to move through this phase. What will also help them to move through this phase is that their primary goal will be to grow and develop. Focusing on this and not on how they will feel, can stop the discomfort from being blown out of proportion. External Support And if there is something that seems a bit daunting, they may end up reaching out to their friends or family, for instance. Talking to someone else about what is going on for them can allow them to see the bigger picture and to take the next step. If they were to keep something like this to themselves, it could end up growing even bigger in their mind. This would make it even harder for them to get uncomfortable and to move forward in an area of their life/their whole life. A Different Story However, while experiencing life in this way may be the norm now, there could have been a time when this wasn’t the case. A number of years ago, they may have done just about everything that they could to stay in their comfort zone. They will now feel free and allow themselves to expand, but back then, they would have probably felt trapped and not allowed themselves to grow. One way of looking at this would be to say that they were surviving, not thriving. Another Reality Yet, although this is how this person may have experienced life in the past, there are likely to be plenty of people that still experience life in this way. For someone like this, leaving their comfort zone is going to be seen as too much of a risk. This is going to stop them from being able to grow and expand, but it could be seen as the only choice that they have. One is then not going to be doing what they can to live a fulfilling existence; they will simply be doing what they can to maintain their existence. A Very Different Meaning If one was to take a step back and to reflect on why it is so hard for them to get out of their comfort zone, they may find that getting uncomfortable is seen as something that would cause them to die. One way of looking at this would be to say that this is totally irrational, and that one just needs to ‘face their fear and do it anyway’. Another way of looking at this would be to say that one is carrying a lot of trauma, which is why they do just about everything to avoid getting uncomfortable. If they were to get uncomfortable the trauma that is held inside them would be triggered, causing them to be overwhelmed in the process. Back In Time What this is likely to illustrate is that there was a time in their life when it did feel as though their life was going to end. One may have been brought up by caregivers that were physically abusive, for instance. Not only would what took place have traumatised them, it would have also caused part of their being to associate getting uncomfortable with death. Thus, not getting uncomfortable will be a way for them to try to stop themselves from coming into contact with this trauma and feeling as though they are going to die. Awareness If one no longer wants their life to be defined by what took place during their early years and wants to thrive, not just survive, they will need to resolve the trauma that is being held inside them. What they may find is that as this takes place, it is a lot easier for them to leave their comfort zone. One will then be able to get out of survival mode and to operate as a whole human being. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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