Suicidal: Can Self-Hate Cause Someone To Feel Suicidal?

For a little while now, a lot has said about people who are suffering from depression and now, a lot is also being said about people who are suffering from suicidal feelings. There are even people who have taken their own life.

One then has to wonder if more people are feeling suicidal than ever before, or if this is merely something that is receiving more attention than it did in the past. If it is not a fairly new occurrence, how long has this being going on for behind the scenes?

Two Experiences

If someone is depressed, and they don’t have suicidal feelings, their life is likely to be hard enough. As a result of what they are going through they might not think about ending their life, but their life is unlikely to be very fulfilling.

But if someone has suicidal feelings, they are also likely to have moments when they feel depressed. It is then going to be as if one is not just carrying one weight; they are carrying two weights.

Reaching Out

After noticing that they often feel the need to end their life, one could talk to the people in their life about it. What one may find is that these people are very understanding and are only too happy to offer their support.

While some of them may say that they need to get the right assistance, a few of them may even offer to help them do this. If this is what takes place, it is likely to show that they have good people around them.
​
Another Scenario

Conversely, one could be in this position but end up keeping what they are going through to themselves. This could mean that they don’t have any close friends or family, but it might not be this black and white.

Either way, one is not going to be in a good way but for some reason they won’t do anything about it. When they are around others, they might be able to cover up what is going on for them and to come across as though everything is fine.

A Bizarre Situation

It is then not going to matter if they spend a lot of time around others as they won’t reveal their true-self. Based on how they behave, it can seem as though what one is going through is not very painful.

If they were hungry or thirsty, for instance, they would likely soon do something about it. However, even though it can seem as though what they are going through is not very painful, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

The Gatekeeper

Along with feeling suicidal, they could also carry a lot of shame, and this can be what stops them from doing anything about their condition. Revealing what is going on for them can be seen as something that would cause them to be rejected and abandoned by others.

It would then be very similar to what would happen if they were ostracised. What they believe would happen if they were to open up is then going to be seen as being more painful than the pain that they are in.

Another Part

Underneath the shame that they are carrying is likely to be the belief that they are worthless and are nothing. One is the going to see themselves as being less-than others, which is why they will need to hide what is truly going on for them.

Not only will this stop them from reaching out, their view of themselves as a worthless human being can also be what causes them to feel suicidal. In addition to feeling worthless, then, they can hate themselves.

An Inner Battle

They can have a voice in their head that is only too happy to lay into them and to tell them how worthless they are. One is not going to need anyone else to put them down as they will have a strong inner critic that undermines them at every turn.

Their own aggression is then going to be directed towards them, making their own life a misery in the process. Ending their life can then be seen as a way for them to put an end to the pain that they are in.

Another Angle

Then again, if one has fully identified with this part of them and every part of their being is on board with it, ending their life can be seen as the best option. Their whole being will be seen as being flawed, so they will believe that they don’t deserve to be here.

It will be as if they are in an invisible prison and ending their life will be seen as the only way for them to get out. Ultimately, one is going to be in a very low place - so low that it won’t matter what is going on for them externally.

Hell on Earth

If someone hasn’t ever felt this bad about themselves, it is going to be hard for them to comprehend how bad this person feels. What could make this even harder is if one has a lot of money or a prestigious job, for instance.

All these external signs of success are going to be irrelevant; what is going on within them will be all consuming. The fact that so many ‘successful’ people end their life surely shows that it doesn’t matter what kind of life someone has.

Awareness

The reason why one would feel worthless and has a strong inner critic can be due to what took place during their early years. This may have been a time when they experienced some kind of abuse.

At this stage of their life, they wouldn’t have been able to realise that how they were treated didn’t reflect their value and was simply a sign of how wounded their caregiver/s were. The self-hate that their caregiver/s had would then have been passed onto the next generation.

If one can relate to this, they need to focus on the fact that they are not less-than human and that they deserve to be here. With the assistance of a therapist or healer, for instance, one will gradually be able to accept this at a deeper level.

---

​​​If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.

• Join my Facebook Page.
• Follow me on Twitter.
• The books I have written.

Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk