There are many challenges in today’s world and the area of suicide is one of those. This can relate to people who are committing suicide or to people who feel suicidal and who would like to end their life in some way.
Mental and emotional problems have become the norm in the western world. But even though this is a serious problem, it not something that is openly spoken about in most cases. And just like depression or any other kind of internal challenge that one can have, it is has become a taboo.
So although someone can be crying out for assistance and solutions to their internal challenges; there is an invisible barrier that can stop one from reaching out for the support they desperately need.
In order for someone to be assisted with their mental or emotions problems, they will need to feel that it safe to do so. And when other people, such as celebrities or influential people, stand up and express what they are going through or have gone through, it can remove a lot of these invisible barriers.
Here, one can start to see that how they feel or think is actually normal and it is not something that one needs to feel ashamed of or that there is something inherently wrong with them. So as awareness increases, it can remove a sense of isolation and that one is only person who has a certain challenge.
And this is why awareness is so important; because all the time something is hidden and not spoken about, it can result in one suffering in silence. They may be surrounded by people or spend a lot of time by themselves, but if one feels that they have to hide what they are going through, it won’t matter whether one is alone or has people around them.
In an ideal world, mental and emotional problems wouldn’t exist. But without even going that far, the ideal would be for them to be accepted and seen for what they are: a sign that something is not right within and needs to be looked at with compassion, care and acceptance.
Not something to be judged as: bad, wrong or shameful. When something is resisted it often leads to its continuation and when something is faced and embraced, is can often lead to some kind of resolution.
While facing something can put an end to the affects that it is having; avoiding something can cause it to become more powerful. This relates to all areas of life, from weeds in a garden, to relational conflicts. If these things are faced, it can minimize the challenges that have appeared, if they are ignored they can become completely out of control.
So instead of one having a healthy sense of control, one can end up being controlled by these occurrences. And emotions and feelings are no different here; if they are avoided and not released in some way, they can completely take over.
If one didn’t form a healthy relationship with their emotions and feelings as a child, it is unlikely that one is going form a new relationship with them as they get older. Perhaps one could seek out assistance and take personal responsibility, but this is often the exception as opposed to the rule.
When it comes to the education system or the health care system, one is unlikely to learn about emotions and feelings. These are generally ignored and are seen as insignificant. What society does do is provide a way to avoid emotions and feelings.
So one can avoid them and cover them up, but they don’t simply disappear; they build up in the body. And as they build, they have more power and influence over what one does and more importantly, how one feels.
It then doesn’t take much reflection to realise that this is going to lead to certain consequences taking place. And what may have started out as a feeling that was fairly moderate and not too overwhelming, as time passed, this can easily cause one to feel completely overpowered and trapped.
One does need to go into water to experience drowning; they can feel that they are drowning in their feelings and emotions. These can range from a feeling that is overwhelming to a combination of feelings. Here, one can be left with the feeling that everything has gotten out of control and is too much to handle
For some people, this will be an experience they have had their whole life and it could then seem normal and how life is. And for others, this can have appeared as a result of some kind of loss; either the loss of a job, loved one or through a relationship coming to an end.
One of the biggest factors in whether one has felt this way their whole life or in if it has appeared during ones adult years, is how their emotions were responded to as a child.
As a child, one doesn’t have the ability to emotionally regulate themselves. The brain is not developed enough to deal with them and so it is vital that one has a caregiver that can assist in this process.
When one experienced emotions as a child, it can feel like the end of the world and one can easily become overwhelmed by them. If one had a caregiver that was emotionally available this is not going to be a problem. Through having a caregiver like this, ones emotions will be regulated in the majority of cases. Here, one will be able to develop their own ability o regulate their emotions. And learn that it is safe to seek support in others when this is not possible.
If one was brought up by a caregiver that was emotional unavailable and out of tune with their needs, then this important process is unlikely to take place. During times of emotional unrest and unease, as a child one will have to just sit in their emotions and feelings. There is simply no one around to show them how to regulate their emotions
And as one does not have the ability to do this at such a young age, it can result in all kinds of problems. The feeling of wanting to die and wanting one’s life to end is going to be normal. These feelings are far too much for one to cope with as a child. But as no one is there, one has very little choice in the matter.
These emotions and feelings will have to be pushed in to one’s body. And not only is there the emotional build up going on, but one didn’t learn how to regulate their emotions either. So it’s like having a challenge and yet having no idea how to overcome it.
This original experience of being overwhelmed by emotions can then stay will someone for their whole life or perhaps something occurs in later life and retriggers these early experiences.
One can feel overwhelmed and trapped on the inside and then society can aid in this experience, as a result of overlooking emotions. If so many people have has a childhood like this and do all they can to avoid their emotions; it is not a surprise that society is so emotionally unaware.
As society is mirroring what is going on for the majority of people. Emotions and feelings are not good or bad and they have become such a challenge due to them building up and becoming out of control.
In order for one to let go of their emotions and feelings that have built up, one will need the assistance of a healer of therapist; one that will allow one to face them and therefore release them. How long this can take, can depend on how much of a build-up one has.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.