Suicidal: Can Trapped Grief Cause Someone to Feel Suicidal?

There are certain things that people talk openly about in today’s world that wouldn’t have been spoken about openly in the past and what is being spoken about can define whether progress is being made. However, there are many things that people talk about that show how far humanity has come.

For example, for many years people had to hide their sexuality unless they were straight, and in certain parts of the world this is no longer the case. It is not a lot easier for someone to be themselves, and this is because they no longer need to hide their true self.

A Process

And while there are still going to be people who find it hard to accept the fact that there is nothing wrong with people who have a different sexual orientation; the right steps are being made. As times passes, more and more people will see this as something that is normal, and they may wonder why it was so hard for certain people to accept this.

A big part of what someone sees as acceptable will depend on the kind of messages they received at an early age. So if someone is born into a country that accepts that it is normal for people to be different when it comes to their sexual orientation and their caregivers give them the same messages, they are likely to grow into adults who see this as something that is normal.

Another Example

There are going to be times in life where someone experiences some kind of mental and emotional challenge, and during these times it will be important for them to open up and to be supported by others. Nowadays, it can be easier for this to take place, and this is partly because there is less social stigma attached to mental and emotional problems.

In the past, there was greater pressure on people to hide what was going on within them, and to just get on with life as best as they could. If they did this, they would be seen as strong, whereas, if they were to express their feelings, they would be seen as weak.

Suffer In Silence

It was then normal for someone to suffer in silence, and while they may have looked fine in the eyes of others, their life may have been a living hell. In this sense, they were physically alive but they may have felt as though they were already dead.

Fortunately, there has been a gradual change in how mental and emotional problems are   viewed, and it is now possible for someone to receive support. This can be from their doctor, a therapist, through reading a book, going online and/or through talking to a close friend, for instance.

Different Challenges

If someone has anger problems, they might feel comfortable opening up to others about what is taking place within them. However, this might not be the case if they felt suicidal.

What this comes down to is that although progress has been made, there are certain inner experiences that are easier to share than others. This could be due to how something is viewed by the people one spends their time with, how it is viewed by the society they live in and/or it could come down to their gender.

Conflict

On one side, someone can be in pain and desperately need support, and on the other, their fear of what will happen if they open up can stop them from reaching out. This is why it is so important for mental and emotional problems to be normalized

Not normal in the sense that people are lead to believe that they have to put up with these problems, but normal in the sense that these problems can be part of the human experience. There is then no need for someone to feel ashamed and to hide what is going on for them, and they can share their experience without thinking they will be ostracised.

Suicidal

If someone was to feel overwhelmed and had suicidal thoughts, for instance, they are going to be in a lot of pain, and while they may reach out for support, they might not feel comfortable enough to do this. They may think about taking their life, but then again, they might not even think about doing this and each day will be a struggle.

This may have been how they have experienced life for as long as they can remember or it may be an experience that they haven’t had for very long. Yet, no matter how long they have experienced life in this way, it is likely to be something they want to put to an end.

Point Of Focus

They are not going to feel as though their life is worth living, and it might not matter how their life looks from the outside. What is taking place within them will be what is defining their experience on this earth

If they were to reach out for support, they may be told that how they feel is the result of what is taking place in their head. As a result of this, they may be encouraged to change their thoughts.

The Body

And while this may work, there is also the chance that it won’t be enough,  and they may be offered the chance to go on some kind of medication (that’s if they are not offered this in the first place). In the short-term, it might be necessary for them to go on medication, but this is unlikely to solve the problem.

Another approach would be for them to bring their awareness into their body and to see what is going on there. The kind of thoughts that they are having in their head could be a reflection of how they feel in their body.

A Reason

Through facing how they feel, they may begin to see that the thoughts in their head are there for a reason as opposed to just appearing out of nowhere. From here, they may start to experience a sense of loss, and it might then be easier for them to understand why they want their life to end.

When someone experiences loss, the meaning of their life can change, and it is then going to be normal for them feel as though they have no reason to live. However, as long as they are able to mourn the grief that is within them, it will be possible for them to gradually let go and to find meaning once again.

Mourning

This can relate to the loss of a loved one, a job or the end of a relationship, and it can also relate the loss that one experienced if their needs were not met during their childhood years. When it is not possible for someone to mourn, the grief will stay inside them, and wanting to die can end up being an experience they become accustomed to as opposed to an experience they are able to move through.

Awareness

In order for someone to find meaning once again, it will be important for them to cry out the pain that is within them. This is something that can take place through the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.

And while this is not something that will happen overnight, it will happen as long as one sticks to this process. It is not linear and this is why there will be ups and downs, but these ups and down will start to decrease as long as one faces how they feel.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/