Support: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Reject Support?

As human beings are not their own island, it means that they need others in order to survive, let alone thrive. So, regardless of whether it relates to emotional or financial support, it will be provided by other people.

But, even though there will be people on this planet who find that the support that they need is generally provided, there will be others who have a very different experience. Consequently, their life can end up being extremely challenging, and they may, from time to time, even think about whether or not their life is worth living.

The Ideal

When someone doesn’t have trouble being supported, it doesn’t necessarily mean that their emotional needs will always be met or that they will necessarily be a millionaire; what it means is that they won’t be used to feeling as though they are invisible and they might not worry about money either.

They may have a number of people in their life who are there for them, no matter what takes place. And, even if they end up in a position where they have to watch what they spend, this might soon change.

Connected

One will then be a separate individual, physically speaking, but it will be as if they are part of something much greater. Somehow, the support that they need to live a fulfilling life will find them.

At the same time, this is not to say that someone will generally need to have their emotional and financial needs met in to live a fulfilling life, but it will certainly help. Solely having close connections with others will have a big effect on ones wellbeing, and being financially supported will be even better.

An Analogy

In the same way that a tree will look separate from other trees, one will also look separate from other people. Yet, in the same way that a tree will be connected to other trees and the planet through its roots, one will also be connected to everything else.

But, unless one has a very strong connection to themselves and their other senses, they might not realise this. Nonetheless, even if they are not aware of this, they will still be reaping the benefits.

The Illusion of Separation

If they have special glasses, for instance, they would be able to see that they are not separate from anything. This is then why what they need has the tendency to find them - it is simply part of them.

It might be hard for someone to hear this, especially if they have a strong connection with their mind. The reason for this is that this part of them sees everything from a place of duality.

Another Scenario

When someone is unable to relate to the above, and the support that they need is generally not provided, their life is likely to be a one long struggle. Even if people are there for them on the odd occasion and if the money they need does show up at times, this may just remind them of how tough their life usually is.

It will be like driving an old banger and then driving a sports car, only to go back to the old banger a little while later. Therefore, as good as this will be, they may prefer to not have these moments.

One Long Battle

One may spend a lot of effort, and use a lot of willpower, trying to change their life. For example, they may have a number of jobs and work every hour under the sun, just to make ends meet.

Still, what they do might not be enough, with them not having enough money to meet their basic needs. Their relationships with others might not be much better ether, with them finding it hard to experience deeper connections with others.   

Disconnected

One is going to want to feel support in life, but it is not going to be possible for them to make this a reality. Thus, even though they won’t be separate from anything, it will be as if they are cut-off from life.

What is clear is that living in this way is causing them to suffer, and, as this is causing them so much pain, there is no way that they are playing a part in all this. With this in mind, it could be said that one will be powerless to change their life.

Diving In

This might seem to be the case, but what they could find if they were to take a deeper look within themselves is that experiencing life in this way is what feels comfortable.  Consciously, then, one will be resisting what is taking place, but, unconsciously, this can be what feel safe.

At a deeper level, they can have a strong need to keep the world, along with the people in it, at a distance. If they don’t do this, they could end up feeling overwhelmed and as though their life will come to an end.

Why is this?

What this can show is that their early years were a time when their boundaries were violated on a regular basis. Due to their caregiver’s lack of empathy and attunement, they would have got too close to them, and they may even have physically abused them.

Subsequently, they would have come to associate closeness as a threat to their survival, with keeping people at a distance being what felt safe. Responding in this way would have been a way for them to handle what was taking place at a time in their life when they were extremely vulnerable and powerless.

Awareness

The trouble is that while keeping their distance from their caregivers would have served them as a child; it is no longer helping them now that they are an adult. The only thing it is doing is causing them to suffer unnecessarily.

Fortunately, with the right assistance, one will be able to change what is taking place at a deeper level, enabling them to gradually develop a sense of safety and security, so that they can open up to the support that is around them. This can be provided by a therapist or a healer, for instance.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk​