If one has mental and emotional problems and/or their relationships are not going as they would like them to go, they can decide to see a therapist. At the same time, they could just as easily do nothing about what is going on going on for them.
It might be hard to understand why something like this would take place; especially as one’s life is not as they would like it to. If they had a problem with something else, there is a strong chance that they would do something about it.
What this comes down to is that inner problems or relational issues are generally not perceived in the same way as other challenges. If one’s car way playing up or if they had something wrong with an electrical appliance, there is going to be no reason for them to overlook it.
One could tell someone they know about this and they are unlikely to receive a negative response from them. Yet, if they were to open up about what is taking place within them or around them, they could receive a radically different response.
On one hand, another person can end up criticising them for what is taking place, and this can then make them feel even worse. For example, the other person could tell them to get over it or to ‘man up’.
This could then cause them to feel as though they shouldn’t be experiencing life in this way, and that it must be because they are weak. Through hearing something like this, it might set them up to keep their problems to themselves in the future.
Suffering In silence
Therefore, is one does reach out and doesn’t keep what is going on to themselves, they might decide to do this in the future. If this was to occur, one is going to end up behaving as though they are their own island.
And as human beings are inherently interdependent, this is going to make their life a lot harder than it needs to be. The ideal will be for them to open up to the right people, as this will allow them to function at their best.
In addition to what will happen if they are shamed by another person, there can also be the effect this will have on their relationship. It could also spread to other people, and this can make them feel even worse than they already do.
These people could start to treat them differently, and they might even end up keeping their distance. On the plus side, if something like this was to take place, it would give one the chance to see who their real friends are.
It could be said that the best thing for one to do, if they are in this position, would be to open up to someone they can trust, or to find a therapist to work with. If they open up to a good friend or family member, they will treat them with the respect they deserve.
What has to be said is that opening up is someone that takes courage; it can be a lot easier to stay silent. If this is someone who doesn’t know what do to, they could suggest that they go and see someone about what they are going through.
When it comes to finding someone to work with, it is not necessarily going to be something that is straight forward. As while it is clear that they need to find someone, they might not know where to begin.
Perhaps the most obvious thing to do would be for them to go and see their doctor; this can give them an idea of what options are available. It might then be only a matter of time before they are able to get the assistance that they need.
If this is not something that appeals to them, they might decide to go online and to see what they can find. There are likely to be a number of options for them to choose from if they take this route.
This can be seen as what would happen if one was to try to find somewhere with their eyes closed; they are not going to know where to go. One can end up feeling confused and overwhelmed.
The Next Step
Still, sooner or later this is likely to change, and one will have found someone who they believe can assist them. After a while of working with them, they may find that their life starts to improve.
What this could then show is that they have developed a good connection with the therapist. And as the kind of connection they have with them is bound to play an important role in whether they progress or not, it could be said that this will be a good thing.
One could see this person as someone who is there to assist them, and that could be about as far as it goes. Having said that, there is the chance that one will see them differently, and this could mean that they idolize them.
If one didn’t have very loving parent when they were growing up, for instance, they could end up seeing them as the caregiver they never had. And if something like this happens, it can make it harder for them to monitor their progress.
The Down Side
It can then be more important for one to keep the therapist in their life than it can be for them to move forward. One could find that they have a strong need to please them, and this is going to show that they need to take a step back.
Time is then going to go by and they might end up spending a lot of money, but their life is not going to improve. And if they were to no longer see them, they could find that their life returns to how it was before.
If something like this was to take place, it could be said that the therapist would need to be held accountable. But it is not always going to be this black and white, and this is partly due to the fact that one can act as though their life is changing even though it isn’t.
It can be easy for one’s thinking brain to go offline when they have therapy (and it might have been this way before), and this can be the result of what they are dealing with. Yet when it comes to having therapy and moving forward, this part of them is something that needs to be utilized.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.