When someone is in a position where they find it hard to feel at peace within, it can be a challenge for them to be able to handle life. This is down to the fact that this could be something that affects every part of it.
And if they were to think about how long their life has been this way for, they could find that it has been this way for as long as they can remember. As a result of this, it could be seen as a normal part of life.
Not This Far
However, while one could step back and reflect on what is taking place; this might be something that doesn’t take place. Yet, if they have a lot going within them, this is not much of a surprise
This is because their emotional brain is going to have the tendency to override their thinking brain. There is also the chance that one is going to be used to having a brain that is on high alert, and it might not matter what is going on around them.
During these moments, it is going to be more or less impossible for them to function as whole human being. One could come to the conclusion that they are missing something, and this is why they are experiencing life in this way.
And if they were to try to explain what they are going though to someone, it might be hard for them to relate to their experience. What they could say is that one needs to settle their mind down, as this is what is causing them to experience problems.
After hearing this, one might wonder if this is the case, and if their life would improve if they were to change their thoughts. This could cause them to look into how their mind works, and it will be important for them to monitor their mind.
Alternatively, one could start to think about how this person doesn’t understand what they are going through. They could even tell them that this has nothing to do with their thoughts, and that something else is in control of how they feel.
The First Approach
If one did follow this person’s advice, they may find that they begin to settle down after a little while. It could then be said that this person knew what they were talking about, and it was a good idea that one listened.
At the same time, this might be something that doesn’t have an effect on them. Or, if it does, it could similar the effect one would have on a tree if they tried to cut it down by using a knife.
The Same Situation
One can then be no better off than if they ignored their advice and continued to do the same thing. But as their day-to-day life is so challenging, it is going to be in their best interest to keep an open mind.
If one didn’t listen to this person’s advice, it could show that they don’t have an open mind, or it could be a sign that they have already tried this approach. When emotional instability is seen as the result of what is taking place in the mind, it can be based on the belief that one’s thoughts control how they feel.
This is the kind of outlook that someone is likely to have if they are into self-development, and as it is espoused by so many people, it can end up being seen as the truth. Yet, if this was the truth, this approach would work for everyone.
When it comes to what their relationships are like, it could be a challenge for them to stay with the same person for a long period of time. They might have the tendency to idealise the people they are attracted to; with one believing that someone else will complete them.
Once it becomes clear that this is not going to happen, one could devalue the other person and end up walking away. This area of their life is the going to be full of highs and lows, and their friendships could also be the same.
Up and Down
It might not be necessary for one to be in a relationship for this to take place though, as one could be used to having mood swings. The smallest thing could send them into a downward spiral, and then before long they could soon be on their feet.
If they have to wait for something, it could cause them to feel angry and frustrated; they could then find it hard to delay gratification. As a result of this, it could then stop them from being able to make progress in their career.
These are just a few of the symptoms that one can experience when their emotions are out of control, and not everyone is going to have the same experience. Even so, it may be a good idea for them to reach out for the right support.
Though working with a therapist, one can gradually begin to develop the ability to regulate their own emotions. In the beginning, one can feel more at easy in their presence, and then as time passes, this can take place when they are not in their company.
When it comes to how long this will take, it can depend on a number of different factors. The kind of relationship they have with their therapist, how often they have therapy and how they respond to it can all play a part.
After a number of months or even years, one could find that their life has radically changed. The time, effort and money that they put into their own growth would then have been worth it.
The Crooked Cure
On the other hand, one could find that even after working with a therapist for quite some time, they might only be able to settle down when they are in their therapist’s presence. This can then mean that they are dependent on them.
Now, it could be said that this is not bad per se; as it can be normal for one to feel dependent when they are doing deep work. Yet, if one was to stay in this state and their ability to regulate their own emotions doesn’t improve, it might be a good idea for them to take a step back.
There is no reason for one to make a rash decision here; they can take their time to reflect on what is taking place. There is no such thing as a one size fits all approach when it comes to therapy, and this is why one will need to have an open mind.
If they believe that they are only getting so far, it might mean that they need to work with someone else. Then again, they might need to try a completely different approach.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.