If one has mental and emotional and/or relationship challenges, they can feel the need to reach out for external support. This could be seen as the best approach for them to take in order to change their circumstances.
Through having this outlook, the next step will be for them to find someone to assist them. Now, this could be something that will take place within a few hours, or they could spend a few days looking for someone. The Right Option However, as it is going to be important for them to find someone who understands what they are going through and who is able to assist them, it doeasnt matter how long it takes. Naturally, one is going to want to find someone as soon as they can, but if they were to work with anyone, they could cause themselves even more problems. As a result of this, if they can be patent during this time and find the right person, it will be better for them in the long run. What also can’t be overlooked here is that even if one was to find someone who they believe can assist them, it doesn’t mean that it will be this straight forward. A Match There is the chance that one will meet them and they will find it easy to talk to them; this can show that they have found the right person to work with. It is then only going to be a matter of time before they are able to move forward. At the same time, they could find that they don’t feel comfortable around them, and this could then stop them from being able to make progress. Or, even if they do feel comfortable with the therapist, it could take them a little while to open up. Trial and Error Due to this, it could be said that it is not always as simple as finding someone and then that’s it. If all human beings were the same, it would just be a case of finding someone and that would be the end of it. As there are so many different factors involved, it is not going to be the same as taking a car to a garage and getting it fixed. Still, this is not to say that one needs to be overwhelmed by this; there are plenty of people out there who can assist them. Another Direction Yet, although one could look for someone to work with, they could also talk to their friends about what is taking place first. This could be a time when one will talk to them about what they plan to do. One could then be told that they need to listen to themselves and, if they feel the need to see a therapist, this is what they should do. This will then show that they have their support, and that they are not going to try and tell them what to do. A Different Response Alternatively, they could say that they don’t need to see a therapist, and they could try to help them. As far as they are concerned, therapy could be seen as something that is a waste of time. But even if on didn’t hear this from their friends, it could be something that they have heard other people say. Reaching out for the support of a therapist can be seen as a sign of weakness, or that one doesn’t have any close friends. It Sounds Right One way of looking at this would be to say that this is the truth, and that one would only need to work with a therapist if they don’t have people around them who are supportive. If they have close friends, there is no reason why they shouldn’t be able to help them with what they are going through. For example, if one was in a relationship and it came to an end, they would look towards their friends to help them through what they are going through. Therefore, there is going to be no reason for them to look towards anyone else if they are having mental and emotional and/or relationship challenges. Another Angle While this can sound right, it doesn’t mean that one will be able to look towards their friends to assist them. For one thing, the people they surround themselves with are not necessarily going to have an understanding of what they are going through. And, even if they do understand, it doesn’t mean that they will actually be able to do anything about it. If they were to open up to these people, they could find that they end up invalidating their experience, for instance. Empathy Thus, instead of getting the support that they desperately need, they can end up feeling as though there is something wrong with them. If this was to take place, they are just going to end up feeling even worse. And through telling these people, they could end up acting as though they are one’s parent. The relationship will then go from one that is equal, to one where one person acts as though they are above the other. Privacy Also, when one works with a therapist, what they talk about is not going to be shared with anyone else. If they were to talk to their friends, they might end up sharing it with other people. But even if this was something that didn’t take place, it could have an effect on how their friends perceive them. If, on the other hand, they were to get the right assistance, they could save themselves a lot of problems. Awareness Ultimately, one will need to think about what option will allow them to move forward. If they do have friends who are in touch with themselves and have a good level of self-awareness, they might still prefer to work with a therapist. When they do this, the therapist will be focused on them; whereas if they were to look towards their friends, they are going to have their own needs to fulfil. This can then stop them from being able to be there for them in the same way that a therapist would.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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