When one is experiencing some kind of challenge, and this could be an inner challenge and/ or an outer challenge, it could cause them to reach out for support. This may mean that they go and buy a book or they might even go on a course.
Another approach would be for them to find a coach, therapist or a support group. There is also the chance that one will do more than one thing and end up selecting a number of options. It can all depend on what one feels drawn to and if something is available.
One might decide that they need a certain kind of support and just go with it. This could be because they have done their own research and come to their own conclusions.
They might speak to a friend or their doctor, and end up going along with what they recommend. This could mean that one ends up going to see a counsellor or someone similar who deals with the challenges that they are experiencing.
The Perfect Match
One could then find that they are with someone who can assist them and before long; they are able to move forward. As to how long this relationship will last can all depend on what they need to work on.
This is similar to how some people need more driving lessons than others in order for them to pass their test. There is no set time when it comes to how long one will need another person’s assistance.
However, just because one has a challenge to overcome, it doesn’t mean that they will need to stay with the same therapist forever. In the beginning, one might see growth but as times passes; they might wonder what is happening.
This could be a sign that one is not ready to move forward or it could mean that the person they are working with has taken them as far as they can. If it relates to the fact that one is not ready to move forward, then this will be something they need to look into.
Yet, if one is ready to move forward and they feel as though the person they are working with is unable to take them any further, then it will be important for them to take a step back. This will give them the chance to reflect on what is taking place and to try a different approach.
One could then end up working with a different therapist or they might decide that they no longer need to work with a therapist. If one is in a vulnerable position, it may be important for them to take their time to avoid making any rash decisions.
If one feels close to the person they are working with, it could cause them to lose touch with the reason why they are working with them in the first place. This could apply to someone who has emotional challenges and needs emotional support.
It then might not matter whether they are making progress or not, as they have come to depend upon the therapist. So due to how they feel in their company, it could mean that one feels better.
But just because they feel better, it doesn’t mean they are making progress. For example: one could be depressed and after speaking to an old friend, they could feel better.
Yet, shortly after the conversation has come to an end, one could feel depressed again. What this means is that it will be important for one to be aware of if they are actually making progress and not to base their progress on how they feel when they are with their therapist or on how they feel shortly after.
While a therapist may be skilled in what they do, it doesn’t mean they have a magic wand. They are human beings and this means that they will have their own challenges to deal with.
It can be normal for one to idealise their therapist and to see them as perfect, and this can cause them to give their power away. However, the real power is within oneself and this is why it is vital that one takes responsibly for their own growth.
A Personal Journey
A therapist can be a catalyst and this can take place as a result of them holding the space and through them providing the positive regard that one needs, for instance. Yet, what they can’t do is do one’s work for them.
One needs to be committed to their own growth and to be the person who understands themselves. Reaching out for support takes courage and this is not something to be ashamed of.
If one puts in the work to understand themselves, it will give them a better chance of knowing if what they are doing is working or not. Without this, one is going to look towards their therapist for everything and this could stop them from moving forward.
Working with a therapist is familiar to those times when one needs to fill up their car; how long they stay there can depend on how much fuel they need. Just as how long they work with a therapist can depend on what is going on for them.
What matters is that one feels safe with the person they are working with and that they have been through or understand what one is going through. The therapist is there to assist them and not the other way around.
So if one feels they have gone as far as they can, it will be important for them to listen to their feelings and to acknowledge the evidence that supports what is taking place. This is something that one’s therapist should also support and they might recommend someone else.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.