Therapy: What Does It Say About Today’s Relationships When Some People Have To Pay Others To Listen To Them?
Nowadays, it is not uncommon for someone to work with a therapist or a counsellor; in fact, it could be said that it is a fairly common occurrence. Even so, this doesn’t mean that someone won’t feel ashamed for needing to be assisted in this way.
Yet even if they did feel ashamed at this point, at least it won’t have stopped them from reaching out for support. There are bound to be plenty of people who feel too ashamed to do so.
When this happens, one will continue to experience life in the same way, and this is likely to mean that their life will get even worse. They may have people around them who realise what is going on, or they could be isolated from others.
At the same time, one could act as though everything is fine, and it might not matter if they have people around them. The image that they present to the world is going to be radically different to how they feel on the inside.
How Could This Happen?
It can be hard to understand how something like this can happen; especially if one spends a lot of time around them. Perhaps their friends can sense that something isn’t right, but that is as far as it goes.
Or, one may spend time around people who are also wearing a mask, which means that there will be no reason for them to pick up on what is going on. And when someone is working with a therapist, for instance, they might keep it to themselves.
This can be seen as a way for them to make sure that certain people don’t look down on them or see them as weak, for instance. Therefore, if they were to tell others, it could lead to further problems.
Still, the main thing is that they are doing something as opposed to suffering in silence. If they did feel weak for needing to be assisted in this way, it would show that they are carrying a negative belief.
If one is in a lot of pain and they reach out for support, they are doing the right thing. What is strange about this is that if one had a problem with their car, they wouldn’t see themselves as being weak for taking it to the garage – this would be the logical thing to do.
So as people are often seen as weak for needing help when it comes to their inner world, it means that it can take a lot of courage to reach out. With this in mind, there is no reason for one to believe their mind (or anyone else for that matter) if it tells them that they are weak for needing help.
The Right Thing
Ultimately, it is only through reaching out for the right support that one will be able to move forward. If this is not clear at the beginning, it will surely become clear as time goes by.
As to how long it will be until one is able to realise this can all depend on what is going on for them. It could only be a matter of weeks, or it could take a number of months before one can see this.
If someone was to criticise another person for having therapy, it can come down to the fact that they are paying for this. As far as they are cornered, this could be something that one should talk to their friends or family about.
It could be said that this is a fair point; after all, one should be able to talk to their friends and family about what is going on for them. There are likely to be a number of people who could do this if they really wanted to.
The Real World
However, there are going to be plenty of people out there who haven’t got any close friends or family. It is then not possible for these people to simply open up the people around them because there is no one there.
After hearing this, this person could begin to change their mind, or it might not have much of an effect on them. Alternatively, one might not feel comfortable enough to open up to the people around them.
Also, when one works with a therapist it is not always just going to be about being heard. For example, they could be in a position where they need to work through a lot of childhood pain, and this is unlikely to be something that one of their friends could assist them with, and their parents could be the last people who they want to do this with.
One is then not only going to need to be around someone who understands what they are going though; they will also need to be around someone who can guide them through this process. This is then similar to how someone probably wouldn’t get in touch with a friend if they had a problem with their tooth and expect them to fix it.
So, while it can seem strange that someone would pay another person to assist them in this way, it might soon make sense if one takes a deeper look into what is going on. Firstly, it is not uncommon for someone to have people in their life who they don’t open up to and, secondly, someone can know as much about their inner world as they do about outer space.
Thus, if one doesn’t have a deep connection with the people in their life and these people are out of touch with themselves, it is going to be normal for them to pay someone. But even if one did have a strong connection with the people in their life and they were in tune with themselves, they might not have the time to be there for them in this way.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.