There are a number of reasons as to why someone would get into self-development or try to change themselves. One reason that this can take place is because they believe that there is something wrong with them.
Now, this is not to say that one will be aware of this belief, as is it can be a belief that is running in their unconscious mind. What this then means is that even though they will have this belief, they won’t realise it.
A Massive Impact
Even so, this belief can have an effect on just about every area of their life. When it comes to their need to develop themselves or change something, they could see this as something that is normal.
Like so many other people on the planet, they will just be doing what they can to be the best version of themselves, for instance. However, while there will be people in the world that do things like this to be the best version of themselves, they won’t be one of them.
A Different Intention
Unlike someone like this, one will be coming from a different place altogether. One won’t feel comfortable in their own skin, which is why they will be doing what they can to try to feel different.
One is going to be far more attached to the outcome and, once they do change something, they could soon find that they need to do something else. Due to what is taking place at a deeper level, they won’t be able to see themselves differently.
Stuck On a Treadmill
The person who feels comfortable in their own skin will be able to change or achieve something and to embrace what has happened. One, on the other hand, won’t be able to accept any changes that they make.
What takes place might allow them to feel better for a very short period of time and then they will need to do something else. This next thing could be seen as what will allow them to finally change how they feel.
Going Round in Circles
Ergo, one could spend years changing this, that and everything else, but they probably won’t be able to experience self-acceptance or inner peace. The key will be for them to take a step back and to reflect on their own behaviour.
If they were to do this, what they may find is that they believe that there is something inherently wrong with them. Through having this belief, it is not going to matter what they do.
Back In Time
What this may show is that their early years were a time when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. As they were egocentric, how they were treated would have been taken to heart.
In reality, how they were treated had nothing to do with them and everything to do with what was going on for their caregiver/s. The view that they formed of themselves at this stage of their life will then be exerting a big influence on their life.
The Power of Belief
If one was able to go back to that stage in their life and to be there with the child that they once were, they would see that there was nothing wrong with this child. They would see that the only thing that is wrong is how the child is being treated.
Still, having this understanding alone might not be enough for one to let go of what they came to believe at a time in their life when they were unable to think rationally. This is why the external support of a therapist or a healer may be needed.
Along with the beliefs that they will need to bring out into the light and to question, there can also be emotional wounds to heal and trauma to resolve. This is likely to be a process and not something that will happen overnight.
The important thing here is that one keeps going and doesn’t give up on themselves.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.