Towards the end of last year, I was introduced to someone called Collin Smith, who is also known as ‘The Listener’. Now, this not merely a fancy term that he uses; it relates to what he is actually like.
He is one of the best listeners I have come across, and I don’t say this lightly. Through working with a number of different therapists and healers over the years, I know a good listener when I see one.
After we had got together for a drink, Colin put me in touch with someone called Kenny Mammarella-D'Cruz. This was someone who ran men’s groups and offered private sessions, to assist people with their life and business.
I thought he sounded like an interesting guy, so I was looking forward to meeting him in person. Meeting someone in person is usually far more appealing to me than taking to them over Skype, for instance, but, unfortunately, this is not always possible.
The Time Had Come
We ended up meeting at a restaurant in London, near to where Kenny ran the men’s groups, and I just happened to arrive on time. I wasn’t sure if this was going to happen, as I walked nearly three miles to get there.
I soon came to the conclusion that Kenny was easy going, full of life, and that it was easy to talk to him. He spoke about the kind of experiences that he had had in the past and I touched upon a number of the experiences that I had had.
I Was Amazed
One thing that I remember clearly is when he spoke about the work he did with Mother Teresa in Calcutta. Before this, the only time that I had heard about mother Teresa was by reading books or articles online – I hadn’t spoken to someone who had met her in person.
The kind of things that Kenny was doing during this time, were the epitome of someone who could truly be there for others. Through hearing different stories, along with what he was like as a person, I came to see why he is committed to assisting others.
The Next Phase
This was just one part of our time together, though, as I was also going to see what one of his men’s groups were like. I didn’t know what to expect, which meant that I went in with an open mind.
Ultimately, this was somewhere where a man could talk about whatever was on his mind; there was no need for him to hide any parts of himself. Being in a group like this reminded me of what it was like at school when I would often feel too uncomfortable to speak out, so I embraced this discomfort whilst I was there.
A Supportive Environment
This was the ideal place for this to happen, as there was no one there who was interested in shaming me or anyone else for that matter. I vocalised what was going on for me and this made it easier.
Everyone had their chance to say something, but they didn’t have to say anything if they didn’t want to. Kenny was then on hand to guide the group and to offer his input if it was necessary.
However, although Kenny was the person who ran the group, it didn’t cause him to come across as someone who knew it all and neither did he act like some kind of Authority figure. He spoke about his own challenges and, if someone was going through a tough time, he asked if anyone else could relate to what this person was going through.
I could see how his past experiences had prepared him for this kind of role. The challenges that he had been through hadn’t defined him; they had redefined him, thereby giving him the insight and strength to make a difference in the world.
Unless a man has people in their life who they can truly open up to, it will be normal for them to hide certain parts of themselves. He can then spend time with other men, but he will simply be paying a role.
This may mean that he feels the need to act tough and to hide how he feels, or to always be positive and to pretend that nothing fazes him. He will have to hide his true-self and he won’t be able to truly connect with others, which will set him up to suffer and to have a lonely existence.
So, if you would like to find out more about Kenny, the groups that he runs, as well as the coaching that he offers, please go to - http://www.kennydcruz.com/
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.