When someone has the ability to go along to get along, it can be a lot easier for them to get on with others. By not having the desire to rock the boat, so to speak, they are unlikely to rub other people up the wrong way.
This is likely to mean that they will have a number of friends, and that it won’t be difficult for them to make even more as time goes by. If another person was asked what they like about them, they could point to the fact that one is easy to be around.
Their time together is typically going to be harmonious, and this will allow the other person to take control, that’s if they want to. They won’t need to worry about whether or not the one will resist.
One will be seen as someone who is likely to go along with whatever they decide to do, which is why it will allow the other person to fulfil their own needs. So, while one might have more friends than someone who doesn’t behave in this manner, it is not going to be a bed of roses.
A loss of self
Through behaving in this manner, it is going to be a challenge for one to express their true-self. Their primary need will be to get on with others, which is going to cause them to neglect their other needs.
If one doesn’t want to experience conflict, the last thing they are going to want to do is to assert themselves. What this would do is to cause other people to respond to them in a different manner.
A New Experience
As a result of being agreeable, they will be used to receiving positive responses from other people. This will have a positive effect on their wellbeing, giving them the encouragement that they need to behave in the same way.
But if they were to no longer act in this manner, the amount of positive feedback that they receive from others is likely to decrease. And if one finds it hard to feel good about themselves unless they please others, this is going to be hard for them to handle.
At the same time, the very idea of displeasing others could be enough to stop them in their tracks. Therefore, while pleasing others will cause them to overlook their own needs, it will be seen as the only option.
It is then going be as if the part of them that wants to live in an authentic manner is not strong enough. Until this is no longer the case, they will continue to focus on other people’s needs.
Part of Life
If one was simply an extension of others, there would be reason for them to change their behaviour. Their main purpose of their existence would be to tune into other people’s needs and to do what they could to fulfil them.
But as one is not on this planet to do this, it is going to mean that there will be moments when they won’t please others. That is, of course, if they pay attention to their own needs.
When they pay attention to their own needs and do what they can to fulfil them, it is going to be far more fulfilling than it would be otherwise. Now, this is not to say that they will no longer care about others, far from it.
What this comes down to is that they won’t be completely focused on other people; they will be more in balance. There will be moments when others don’t approve of how they behave, but then there will be moments when one doesn’t approve of how other people behave.
Out of Balance
If someone only cared about their own needs and found it hard to be there for others, it would be necessary for them to move from one side of the spectrum to the middle. Yet, when one behaves in the opposite manner, they will need to move from the other side of the spectrum to the middle.
One is then not going from extreme to the other when they are in touch with their true-self; they are simply embracing the part of their nature that has been overlooked for so long. The part of their nature that is likely to be undeveloped is their masculine aspect.
A Different Energy
This is the part of them that will give them the strength to assert themselves in the world. One of the main reasons why one would find it difficult to do this is because they don’t feel safe in their body.
Their need to please others is then a sign that they don’t feel safe enough to stand their ground. If this is the case, it can show that there was a time in their life when it was far too dangerous for them to express themselves.
It has Served its Purpose
Perhaps one was brought up in an environment where they were abused and/or neglect, for instance. It would then have been essential for them to behave as though they were just an extension of others.
Behaving in this way would have been a matter of life or death, and not something that they had a lot of control over. Nevertheless, while it kept them alive at this time in their life, it is not longer necessary for them to behave in this way.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they might need to work with a therapist or a healer. This can be a time when they will be working through trauma and changing what they believe.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.