True Self: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone’s True Self To Withdraw?

What can be normal is for someone to feel as though they are simply going through the motions in life. They are then not going to have a strong desire to be here and this can be evident when it comes to how they live their life.

When it comes to what they do each week, this could typically involve the things that they have to do. So, they could go to work, go shopping, perhaps see friends and family now and then and that could be it.

A Big Difference

Compared with someone who is ‘grabbing life by the horns’ they won’t be grabbing anything by the horns. Or, if they do grab anything with any real intensity, it could be their steering wheel when they go out.

Other than this, apart from being human, they won’t have a great deal in common with someone who is full of life and hasn’t got any time to lose. Based on how they both behave, it could be as if they are from different planets.

Feedback

If they were to come across someone like this, they could wonder why this person is so full of energy. One could believe that this person has something that they themselves don’t have and that they are inherently different.

But, if this person was to pay attention to their behaviour, they could wonder why they are not embracing the life that they have been given. In their eyes, they could say that one just lacks motivation and could come up with a few suggestions for how they can change this.

A Way of Life

Now, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, they may see that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. Consequently, they could believe that they were just born this way.

For a very long time, then, they won’t have had a great deal of energy or felt like doing much. They could believe that life is something that they have to endure, not enjoy or something similar.

Inner State

When it comes to how they feel, they could often feel very flat and low and sometimes be deeply depressed. What this will illustrate is that their nervous system is often in a parasympathetic, collapsed state.

Due to how much time they spend in this state, they are likely to find that it is often difficult for them to connect to their needs and feelings. This will mean that they will spend a lot of time up top, so to speak, and will seldom be connected to their body.

An Analogy

So, when it comes to how they experience life, they are going to be like someone who has been asked to do something that they don’t want to do whilst on holiday. They will have gone away to explore but they will have to sit in a boring meeting for one of the days.

During this time, they will physically be there but their mind will be somewhere else and they will be a shadow of their usual self. Their heart and soul won’t be in what is taking place and this will show.

The Difference

However, when someone experiences life in this way, their life will practically be one big meeting that they don’t want to take part in. They are going to be physically here but, in general, they won’t be emotionally here.

If they believe that they were simply born this way, it doesn’t mean that this is actually the truth. There is the chance that what took place during their formative is the main reason why they are physically here but are seldom emotionally here.

Back In Time

This may have been a time when they were often physically harmed and neglected, which would have deprived them of the nutrients that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. To handle the pain that they were in and protect themselves, they would have gradually lost touch with their body.

This would have also caused them to lose touch with their true self and estranged them from a number of their needs and feelings. Quite simply, what they were going through was too painful and, as they were powerless and totally dependent, they had no other option.

One Option

In other words, they couldn’t leave the brutal environment they were in, so a big part of them had to disconnect and go into hiding. One way of looking at this would be to say that their true self or soul was murdered.

It is this part of them that will give them the ability to embrace life and truly live; therefore, as this part of them has gone into hiding, it is to be expected that they would be a shadow of the person who they would be otherwise. They will have access to the life force that will keep their physical body alive and enable them to survive but they won’t have access to the life force that will allow them to feel truly alive and to actually thrive.
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Reconnecting

Most likely, it won’t just be a case of them getting back into their body, connecting to their true self and embracing life. They can have many defences in place and under these defences is likely to be a lot of pain.

Penetrating these defences and working through this pain will take courage and patience and persistence. If they were to face all of their pain in one go, they are likely to feel totally overwhelmed and they could die.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk