In order for someone to be in touch with all of their feelings, they will need to be in touch with their body. The reason for this is that their feelings are primarily found in their body, not their head.
Ergo, if someone has a good connection with their body, it will allow them to connect with all of their feelings. Through having this connection with this part of their being, they will also be aware of what their needs are.
Their feelings will provide them with the guidance that they need to live a life that is fulfilling. For example: their body will tell them if they should say yes or no, if they should stay where they are or go somewhere else, or of they should move closer to someone or further away from them.
Their body is then going to continually provide them with information, which will be there to serve them. Following this information won’t mean that their life will always go to plan, but it will certainly stop them from experiencing a lot of things that don’t serve them.
Being in touch with their body and allowing this information to influence them is going to be what feels safe. Not living in this way is going to feel uncomfortable, and this could be seen as the ideal scenario.
If this wasn’t the case and one didn’t feel safe enough to express what was within them, it would be normal for them to neglect themselves. Their life would most likely be an expression of other people’s needs instead.
A Different Experience
However, if someone doesn’t have a good connection with their body, it will mean that the information that is within them will typically be overlooked. There may be certain feelings that they experience, but it will be a challenge for them to connect to all of their feelings.
The feelings that they can connect with from time to time could be frustration, anger, shame, guilt and even sadness. Yet, although they may be familiar with these feelings, they are still likely to spend a lot of time in their head.
As a result of this, they will probably look towards the external world for guidance. Doing what other people want, along with what they think they want, will be their main priority.
Living in this way may allow them to receive a fair amount of approval, but due to the fact that they are generally out of touch with their own feelings, their life is unlikely to be very fulfilling. And even if their feelings try to come up to the surface, they could soon push them down again.
Their Own Enemy
This is not to say that they will consciously push their feelings down as this is likely to be something that will take place unconsciously. Whenever they come up, they could instantly do or take something to send them back down.
If only they were to allow their feelings to come up and to listen to them, they could start to change their life. What this illustrates is that even though their life is not very fulfilling, it is not so bad that they will want to do anything about it.
If they were to get out of their head and to connect to their body, they may end up being overwhelmed with pain. Their body is not going to be seen as a part of them that can provide them with guidance; it will be seen as a part of them that carries a lot of pain and needs to be avoided at all costs.
Staying out of their body and therefore, avoiding their feelings, is going to be a way for them to protect themselves. Thus, it is going to be perfectly normal for them to avoid this part of their being, bearing in mind how much pain there is within them.
A Long Time Ago
The reason why there is so much pain in their body could be because of what has occurred in their adult life and/or it could go back to what took place during their early years. If it goes back to what place when they were younger, the pain they experienced as an adult will have gone on top of the pain that was already there.
At this stage of their life, they may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. The trauma that they experienced would have overwhelmed their system and the only way for them to survive would have been to disconnect from their body.
The Solution Becomes the Problem
Disconnecting from their body would have allowed them to survive this time in their life, but now that they are an adult, being out of touch with their body is not going to serve them. The only way that they will be able to embrace life is if they are able to embrace their whole being.
Said another way, the connection that one has with themselves defines the connection that they have with everything else. It is then going to be essential for one to embrace their body if they want to embrace life.
If one can relate to this, and they want to become a more integrated human being, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.